meh moments, latex related?

Ok here's a thought. I had a really good time on Friday with all the rubbery fun and all the latex to wear, go out and sleep in, but I now think as happy it makes me at the time, as low I'm feeling without it; and without the one by my side who encourages and wants me to wear it, I don't feel like wearing it if that makes any sense.

I don't know what to make of it all now. I sure have to find a better balance and the one to share it with.

some comments I received ...

...relating to my last post 'So that's her then' I feel I like to share, so below some quotes of the private message I received I personally find helpful. ( edited only slightly were needed for privacy reasons) If you haven't read the related post yet, I recommend to read it first, then this one, otherwise this won't make as much sense.

"One way I like to do things, is to take a general concept, like the rubber-doll or sex-doll, take what I like from it and leave the rest.
In many respects, that is what you are doing. Taking what you like, dumping the original image and then replacing it with other elements which are important to you.
There is something rather kinky about a woman wanting to be a rubber/sex-doll rather than a man. There is a wrongness to it, which is pleasing.
Your comment about being put in the libidex suit and being used so to speak, I am guessing that has some objectification elements to it. You want to be used as though it isn't you, in a way, you want your owner to do what he wants, use you for his pleasure, as he would an object. At the same time, it means you are devoid of responsibility for it, it is his doing, not yours."

"It will be interesting to hear when the 2 become 1, the moment, the event during which it happens in your head."

"I think there is a part of you that wants to be told what to wear. This is often not the easiest of things for a guy. e.g. think about how many men actually buy their partner a scarf, let alone a dress, underwear or anything else. Yet women often dream of this.
As a starting point though, you can basically create a wardrobe of attire for yourself and get him to choose from that, which should be easier.
The other element, is that a man will find the idea of being able to "dress you up" and "use you", quite appealing, essentially from a sex/selfish point of view.
Now if that person is your loving partner with your best interests at heart, that selfishness should be embraced and made to work for you."

"The reason I say this, is because men can focus on the wrong parts of it, as I have shown in myself right there. And to you, yes that can be a part of it, but I am sure that isn't one of the important elements to you. Teaching what is important, through example, temptation and above all good communication is very important in getting this part of you going down the right path. There is nothing worse than having something you love be corrupted for you. I have seen it happen. It was actually something which ended a relationship instead of making it stronger."

"The other important part, which at this point, you may not entirely know, but your post already indicates you have an idea, is how often you need it.
That is the thing with kink, it is better to vent often, rather than suffer an explosion. The doll within you has a hunger. It can't get cooped up for too long without good reason and if those opportunities are their, frustration will set in and the manifestation of that may be completely unrelated and not that easy to track back to the real cause.
Wear latex is a passive thing, something which essentially is there most of the time.
Going out in it, being dressed for your owner, that needs to happened fairly regularly.
Being put in the play suit needs to happen on occasions.
Each will have their hunger and each other them will affect the appetite of the others. Whether it is to reduce it, as you have had a feed in one form or another, or it will make your hungrier."

"I think the way that you talk about her, shows the porcelain nature of what you have, how delicate it is."

"I am not sure if you will be able to be at one with her, until you finally find someone to give her to. e.g. for now, you are her owner. It is only when you find someone to own you, that you can finally become her.
It is then he, who has the responsibility of keeping her safe and making sure she gets played with and the attention, protection and love that she needs."

"I guess, at the end, all you really need to say is that you want someone to love all of you. In the end it is not even you and then the doll with in you. It will be just you. (But what you are saying fits in with everything that comes above in regards to it being two parts of you currently.)"

"The other side of things, is remembering to embrace the kink within them. I know that I personally sometimes don't apply the approach I expect others to take to my kink, I don't do in equal amount to theirs. This fact can actually take you by surprise at times, as you don't even notice that you are doing it wrong."

"Oh, I think the other part which can take a bit of explain to some men, is that it isn't all about sex. This kinda comes naturally in reality, but when initially trying to get the concept across, it can be a bit tricky to pull their minds, well, their crotch away from the fact.
I guess that is when you need to use it as a tool. It holds their interest while you explain the rest."

"I think a final point, is to always try and recognise what is a desire of your own and what is a desire of your partners. As at times, you can find yourself thinking they desire something from you, which they don't. And because that is the case, it suddenly becomes something which no one is controlling. Because you think it is his and he thinks it is yours."

"Not sure if any of that helps, but those are a few of my thoughts on the matter.
I think you desires are reasonably common, but what makes them beautiful and unique is you. Always remember that fact."

I'm fascinated and feel a little flattered that someone I don't even know takes such an interest in what I have to say and tries to help me with making very constructive, non-biased comments which admittedly help me right now, maybe especially because this person doesn't know me, doesn't judge me.

Mxx

So that's her then?

I am about to meet my inner doll soon. This probably sounds a little funny, but I am serious. A while back I discovered that I have a rather big latex bug, thinking about what I want and discussing it with Sky I quickly figured that total enclosure in latex is indeed very attractive to me and then I thought 'but I don't want to look like those rubber dolls', mostly wearing black latex all over, sometimes with blown up boobs and unnatural looking 'skin'; I don't want to be black, or red or pink, I want to be perfect and the thought of a porcelain doll, mannequin was born.
This thought since developed but never left me again. I want to be perfect with flawless skin. Perfect and loved and looked after, admired and used and cared for. After having had the chance to look at the colour sample of Rubber55 mannequin coloured latex, I instantly fell for it to be honest, I decided that I will get a hood and a catsuit in exactly this colour. This was about a month ago.
Yesterday I ordered it. I ordered her skin so to say. She's going to need clothes and hair, preferably red curly hair, I haven't found anything suitable yet though, but maybe she's going to have to be without it at first, or maybe with black hair. But yes, she'll need clothes, she can hardly be naked all the time. I was thinking of getting her the same top I have in black in white latex and with a white matching skirt, the skirt will have a black trim around the waist and maybe some pretty white gloves with black trim going with it. oh the options are endless here though and this is not the most important thing just yet.
Then I know she's got a little thing for the 'sex doll' libidex has got on their web page in their fantasy section, she's hoping that who ever is going to own her some day will occasionally stick her in this one for some more naughty play.
She'll not be able to wear the perfect looking skin everyday, but for outings with her owner she'll happily dress in latex, thinking of that, there are so many pretty designs, some printed, some just matt which are more than suitable for 'vanilla' outings and can be thought of when things are more established. She can imagine this will be the way things develop though depending on the owner.

I think she's a little bit scared, or am I? Maybe we are. It's all pretty new and will develop all by itself, so thinking about details to much will just disappoint me or her, or even both of us.

I hope we'll find someone who loves us both, so if there are doubts at any point we'll be able to be strong together. Ultimately, she's me and I'm her, but right now I still separate the both and I have no real idea for how long this will be like this, but I know that I want to know that someone appreciates me for who I am and who I want to be.

One little thing, I am talking about her and me as two different people but I am totally aware that we are not; this helps me to accept that there is something to my kink I have to discover, I know I am not alone with this but I know too that most people are stuck in their fantasy and things hardly ever become reality. How much it's going to be part of my day to day and how much it's going to work for us, when there is a us to work it out at some point is yet unclear and needs to be established there and then, but it's very important to me that whoever will join me for this journey loves me first and then the doll within me. I want to be in a loving, caring relationship and embrace my fetish, our fetish.

Mxx

change of plans....

I ordered the catsuit. I know, haha, you are saying now is she serious!? I just don't want to wait any longer. It will be fine, it's not totally over the budget, just a bit, and that means my 'pocket' money for the month November is now spent.

Soooooo excited though! Yay!

gutted

Gutted because I had to be a grown up and not spend my bonus on lots of latex but use it to balance my other bank account but hey, there will be another time to indulge in endless orders.

I still got me some things,lol, I ordered some semi long black gloves, I have the same in red and they are definitely going to be long enough to close that gap between the sleeves of the top and the gloves. Some black socks to go with my black leggings, because feet look silly :P.

AND! My first hood! yay! My first own hood. I went for mannequin coloured :D. Can't wait to get it and try it on. now have to start saving for the catsuit, it has to be made to measure so I assume it will be around 300 pounds maybe, but I already know which one I want, it's the no5 on rubber55's webpage in the thicker latex.

Ok, that's it for now, hehe

Mxx

insight

I had a lot to think about since Tuesday and I came to a couple of conclusions, think I should write them down to make them facts, not just thoughts.

My interest in latex was always there, I know that because of the reactions the material triggers in me, but I was not pushing it quite that far and I think I was just not able to go down that route all by myself, I needed to be pushed in the right direction by someone else. Sky gave me that push. He insisted that he wants to meet full covered in latex, erm no hoods, it's public, but the rest, pretty much all covered up, neck to fingertips and toes ;) and I started to think about the total enclosure thing and it first totally freaked me out. Going out in vanilla world like that? I soon discovered that that's actually really easy though. I mean, I've done it before and there are places in London you can easily pull that look of without being stared at. I started to look for a top, something I liked and I ordered finally my first long sleeved top made to measure. I knew already that I will love it, I tried one on at Showgirls before that and knew it's going to feel amazing, the waiting around for things to arrive was driving me relatively nuts though to be honest.
I think that was rather unfortunate as I feel like I lost some precious time while waiting, but it was worth it. I've been out twice since, once to Camden for drinks with friends and to my mates party on Friday night and the 'I like this a lot' - feeling just keeps growing stronger.
I got really annoyed on Friday that the sleeves on the top are just a little bit too short, will have to get someone to stick some cuffs on it to give it an extra 2-3cm and in the meantime I need to get some longer gloves maybe, my skin tone ones did look really good though on Friday and you couldn't really spot the error, nobody noticed but I know it bugged me. I spent 10hours in my latex on Friday, bare feet after a while, the shoes are not made for party, lol and I had to take the gloves off after I think 6-7 hours, because my thumb nails on both hands really started hurting, will have to cut them even shorter next time, they got pushed too much by the latex, but I am really happy with the end result of the night.

So here is a big thank you to Sky, for raising the bar, for pushing me forward and for helping me discover this side on me. Makes me a little bit sad as well, because of the same reasons, he raised that bar and is now pulling out of meeting me. I first was really upset. I spend a lot of time, effort, even money on preparations and he just changed his mind now. Thinking about it all for the last couple of days I am ok with this now and still consider him as a friend. We will have to meet though, even if it's just in jeans and t-shirt and for a coffee but I don't have any online friends and I like to keep it that way, I like to know the person I talk to, even if I only ever see them every 6 months in real. So this is going to be something we will have to put into practise, meeting face to face. No date needed, or latex for that matter. I accept his decision that he's just not feeling like it at the moment. Happens to me too, I lost my 'mojo' more than once and fully understand it. I like him as a person, I like to know the real Sky behind the online persona to establish a real friendship here, I think it's time after 2 1/2 months. So that is food for a conversation.

Going back to my fetish. I decided I won't dress for myself at home. I figured that doesn't give me the right feeling to it. I want to look perfect and pleasing and do it not just at home for myself but for someone important to me. So as much as I know now what I want and what I want to explore in depth I will have to do this slowly and hopefully together with someone at some point. I feel lucky I have friends who understand my kink and that they are there for me when it gets me down, thanks Keira, Naya, Captain, you're the best.

Mxx

Party time!

LOTS OF LATEX was involved last night and it was just such an amazing night!

Our host went through days of preparation and the place looked just awesome, padded latex floor upstairs, latex covered walls, fairy lights everywhere and plenty of party guests, the most important thing. Everyone looked fantastic.

I was getting there early, taking time to dress to avoid getting too hot and sweaty and it worked out perfectly. I was wearing my 7inch platform knee high boots with my black top and leggings and the corset on top, decided to go for the natural coloured gloves with it and I think I was creeping out the one or other with them, as people didn't realise till getting close that I was wearing gloves, they just blend in so nicely. One of my best girlfriends curled my hair with the curling iron, a look I definitely have to wear more often in future, so a curling iron is on the shopping list now. I LOVED IT! Oh my god, all those fabulous comments about my outfit, from stunning to hot to awesome....I didn't want to take it off at the end of the night, but I had to eventually.

Looking forward to the photos of the night!

Thanks to the fantastic rubber doll which let me play with her, <3 that was an awesome experience.

Mxx

doing the right thing?

Feeling rather silly now about what I said last night, but thinking about it, it is the way things seems to be. It might have been better to not say anything, no, hold on, that would be silly. I've always been honest and always will be and if someone can't deal with that then it should probably just not be.

I suppose not everyone deals with things that way, people keep their thoughts to themselves rather than talking about it openly, but that makes relationships between individuals so special, if you feel like you can talk about anything and say anything and it will be 'not the wrong thing to do' but just right. I don't ever want to feel like I can not just say how I feel or have the feeling that I will have to keep things to myself because they won't be met  by approval.

So yes, whether or not it will be met with approval, I did the right thing; voicing my concern. There's not much more I can do really, just wait and see what reaction I will get.

Mxx

new top is finally there!

Yay! It just been in the post and it fits perfectly! That was to expect, it's made to measure and it was not me measuring me in the first place but the girl from Atsuko Kudo, so no room for error there, but I was still worried that it won't fit perfectly. It does!

It is lovely and I want it in a million other colours, but I am still a bit annoyed that I had to wait for it so long!

So I just gave it a wash, will then give it a nice polish and then another one and another one,lol!

<3

finally?

The waiting around for orders to arrive, for getting ready and right just made things worse and I have only one thing on my mind recently and that's meeting Sky, finally, in person. It feels like we already know each other. It's so strange.
I have to admit I'm getting very impatient now, it's been quite some time since we started talking, we get on well and it just seems that meeting each other is well overdue. I literally have to force myself not to think about it too much, it might after all go all wrong and we don't get on as well as we do online, people sometimes are behaving different to what they are like in person, just because they can, because they may not like who they are in real life. I don't think of Sky as being someone like this, otherwise I would have given it all a miss already, my gut says it's right, so let's hope it really is. I am a little worried that he is sick of the waiting game though. Let's hope he's not.
If Jane Doe Latex told the truth the waiting should be over this weekend :). Please!

Nooo! No gloves in that colour! Why!

I just had a reply email from rubber 55. I emailed them asking if they do the gloves in the same colour as I like to have the rest of the outfit, mannequin...guess what, yes, they don't! ok, so what now? I have some which would be a similar colour, but well, it's just that, similar, not the same.

Sigh!

So it's definitely going to be longer sleeves then...hmm, rubbish, I hate when I can't get what I want.

outfit complete....

...according to Jane Doe it is going to be this week.

Very excited! I hope the top is nice, sigh, first time I didn't get something from the shop but ordered made to measure, so it should fit, right?

So it's going to be pretty classic, black high neck, long sleeved top, black corset and pencil skirt, semi transparent natural tights, knee high shiny boots and gloves. <3

Definitely an outfit I feel comfortable in.

x

latex plans...

I have been to LAM yesterday, it was Fetish Weekend Special and therefore lots of stall holders were there you usually don't see at LAM. My absolute favourite was Rubber55, I feel a little sorry now that I didn't pay any attention to any other stall really, but I was just so happy to be able to ask them questions and try on hoods,lol.

So now I know my size for a hood from them, which is handy, as I don't like to just order things not being sure if it's going to fit, she told me it's a 'male size S' or 'female size M', so here we go, it's now on my blog, no chance to forget that again. Another question I had was if they are able to add a crotch zip to those lovely black seemed tights, yes of course they can, then it's going to be a custom made piece though. Good to know.

And finally! I was able to hold on a colour sample of their 'mannequin' coloured latex! OMG! It's perfect! Absolutely perfect! I can already picture the whole catsuit, gloves, hood, all in this perfect colour! How awesome! My friend who owns a doll suit from Libidex said then that that's a so much better colour for a 'human sex doll' than the colour libidex uses for the doll-suit and I have to agree. sigh, this is all really exciting!

I'm soon off to todays LAM at the regular venue, for lots of workshops and to be a demo bunny for my friends Stephen and Maria from Edgeplay at their needles workshop. Looking forward to it, haven't had any needles in aaaaages! I sure will write about it tonight :D.

Bye for now,

Love Mx

someone freeze my Visa

Someone please freeze my Visa! I went to Breathless after work and yes, of course, I didn't leave without buying something, I ordered a black corset, it will be ready within 10 days from today, :D . She was lovely, we talked about different colour trims and how they then limit you with what you can wear it and she said, just change the colour of the lacing! YES! I never thought about this, of course, just change the lacing to the colour matching your outfit! I'll get a 2nd colour with it and I asked for white, or red if white is not available...., sooooo looking forward to it.

Unfortunately I still haven't heard of Jane Doe Latex when my top is going to arrive, sigh. Patience is a virtue, I just haven't got a lot of it at the moment.

Talking about spending money, I have arranged for another tattoo appointment in July, asked for my 30th birthday to be the date, and of course asked to still be wait-listed for January in case someone gets cold feet. Not sure yet what I will get but there is still plenty of time to think that up, I have ideas, it's not that I'm totally clueless, but not yet defined and really difficult to explain.

So here we go, I should stop buying food, would leave me with more money to spend on rubbery goodness.

Mx

obsessed, impatient, frustrated, worried...

...they all fit right now, sometimes all together, sometimes only one or two or three out of the four. No, it's not actually that bad, worried is probably to smallest problem, I am not really worried, just a little bit maybe but I get to that later I think.

My obsession with latex is growing, it's growing slowly and I am still not entirely sure how 'bad' the whole thing actually is, but according to a good friend it's already pretty bad. The day before yesterday I dreamt all night about latex, latex was just everywhere, you know how crazy dreams can sometimes be, you mix lots of things and the whole dream just doesn't make any sense, but I usually don't dream and feel so 'alert' and 'aware' of what I am dreaming about. I think it got to do with me getting really impatient, I wish my latex I ordered would arrive, I wish it would hurry up, not just because I want to wear it, lol, well yes, I want to wear it, but because I want to wear it when going out with Sky for the first time. We've been talking for a while now and we agreed that we should start the way we're supposed to go on, so wearing latex on our first date just makes sense. I am really looking forward to this. Despite, it feels about time that we get to meet each other, I feel strangely calm and utterly nervous at the same time, I think it's because I am not letting myself getting too excited over the whole thing before we actually see if this leads to anything more than what we have now. I like him, I think he's a good person, he's smart and funny and passionate about things. So out of the impatience and obsession there develops frustration because I am not good with waiting for things to happen, I don't like having to wait around. I got a little better with it, but I'm still not very good. Frustration can be something really nice, if it's caused by someone in charge and I know that I will eventually get my reward for being good, but not in this context.

I think I am only a little worried where this all will eventually lead to, but on the other side, why being worried all the time? I learnt an important lesson last year as I got injured and was unable to do even the smallest things without being in constant unpleasant pain, to enjoy every day and live in the now, not to live in a dream world, to look after myself and put my personal well-being first, do what I feel is good for me and to take a risk if I feel I should. This probably sounds pretty confusing, I think it does, but to me it makes perfect sense.

I never been totally normal, I think one reason why I'm single is that I'm not willing to settle for just a bit of what I want but aim for the perfect thing. I want to be perfect for my significant other, I believe that I can only be happy in a loving and caring D/s based relationship, knowing I am in good hands and have my partner improving me, guiding me and helping me discover the real me. I am no door matt, I am my own person, but I  am not complete. I think I digress. Right, I try to keep my expectations low, that is the reason why I don't think about what could happen next in detail, as long as I keep me in the dark, I won't be too disappointed if things won't work out. I got burnt too many times to let my guard down easily, but it's getting harder with every day.

I maybe get back to this another time, enough for today. A wank and some rubbery dreams for me I guess.

Love,

Mx

I'm upset and that's not good!

I just have to get this now out of my system or I am not going to sleep all night I think and that is definitely not an option as I have a busy day tomorrow.

I am a little upset and it's not good, because it shows I care and maybe I care just a little bit too much already.

I haven't heard of Sky in 4 days now, which was kind of ok until tonight, but now it feels like he's just not wanting to talk to me any more and this sudden silence is hurting my feelings. I am annoyed with myself that it upsets me, what a mess. I don't understand why he would though and try to think that he's just busy. Oh well, nothing I can do about, is there. I will just have to stay positive.

One thing lifting my mood is that Jane Doe got back to me and a friend of mine told me tonight that he was only waiting about 10days for his order to arrive, so maybe I'm lucky too :), that would definitely cheer me up.

I'll try to get some sleep,

Mx

more shopping...

I ordered some semi-transparent natural coloured tights from libidex yesterday. Looking forward to getting them! I learnt my lesson on Friday night though, I will have to trim my rather strong fingernails even more, or just wear gloves when taking them off/ putting them on, as I torn a hole into my black leggings when taking them off. It's not too bad, as it's just at ankle height and sure can be fixed but I am still rather annoyed with myself about this.

I still haven't heard back from Jane Doe Latex, although I sent an email, not impressed so far, let's see how this develops.

I suppose when I get those items, I have a nice outfit together though, really exited about it! The black long sleeves top with high neck, my black pencil skirt, natural tights and my beige wrist length gloves, sounds good?

I had another look for a corset, but that's something I think I have to go to the shop for it, I know breathless have got some in stock and even if it's not the right size I can then at least see how wide they are in real and then get the right size ordered.... .

more latex...

I went for some drinks last night first and then met one of my best friends to go to fangtasia to watch a performance of 3 of our friends and for general socialising and catching up, a little dancing etc. My friends performance was outstanding, I really enjoyed it.

A lovely lady did a performance in all white latex, from top to toe, the hood has had only one eye cut out which was framed with red latex and she looked absolutely stunning, I think I was proper staring at her,lol.

We left early but that was ok, I was pretty tired myself and looking forward to stay over as he just got himself some rubber sheets and duvet covers, OMG! That was incredible. I thought I might want to leave and sleep on the sofa after a while but I actually slept really well. Good fun. Lovely smell. Can still smell it and feel it.

Unfortunately I am too stupid to take off my latex leggings with care, I torn a hole in them, just at the end of the leg, ankle height, should be ok to be fixed though, something I may have to get used to, really annoyed with myself though! I should pay more attention! Bad girl!

shopping...

just a quick one, waiting to hear back from Jane Doe Latex, ordered a long-sleeve top with high neck, in black for now, if I like it a lot I will get it in white and then the knee length skirt with black trim in white with it...hmmm

the picture gets clearer ...

... I have done a lot of self-analysing and thinking.

I think I understand now why the outlook on being wrapped in layers and layers of rubber, being covered from top to toe with this lovely stuff is so appealing to me.

Firstly, I am perfectly ok with myself, I don't want to hide behind a layer of latex, I see it as enhancement, it perfects the look, helps underlining my already existing female shape, feels and smells good and most importantly suggests control. It's pretty much like maybe chastity or corset-training is to others I think. I suppose I need(ed) a push in the right direction, waking me up, I will quote something : 'rubberist in the making', that sums it up, without someone motivating me I wouldn't have thought about it really I suppose, but that again refers to a lot of stuff I have tried and I like; someone introduced me to it. I think what makes the whole thing so appealing are a few things: the D/s aspect to it, when being pushed to more and more by your partner, the control and restriction it brings with it. The 'perfecting the look', yes, like dollification, I think. Make me perfect. The sexual aspect, I start to associate sexual arousal with latex, this started with being wrapped up in the body bag the other day, OMG! I am thinking of being wrapped into tight latex, hmmmm. I took a piece of latex with me in holiday, it's a hairpiece, I was wearing it one evening standing in the sun and suddenly a breeze came up, I could smell the sweet lovely scent of latex and I could feel my cunt responding to it instantly. So much to being a crazy pervert ;) . The pleasing your partner aspect, I like to please and it's satisfying to see and hear the others approval....
I think there is a lot more to it.

There is something else, to be honest I'm a little scared of it, just a little. I feel like I will step over the line soon where there will be no return, not that I want to return, but I know that certain experiences will change my life for ever. Realistic I would say, that's what I am, I know it's not going to do me any harm to live out something I think is going to be so right for me.

I am slowly preparing myself and my wardrobe to bring this all to the next level, surprisingly, I am nervous but not worried, I am excited but patient, I don't feel I'm in a big hurry. I will just do one step after the other. Wish me luck, I feel like I found something rather special to me.

Mx

A kink free week...

... actively anyway. I must say, I think I changed quite a lot in the last year or so. I went away for a week, summer holidays in a very vanilla environment, but I had to take some latex with me, so I packed my hair piece and a few other accessories, I have a big red rose to attach to the hair. I was really happy I did.

The 'hottest' moment in this holiday? Standing in the evening sun on the terrace of the pool bar, sipping my white wine spritzer and then 'this smell', the evening sun was shining onto the latex and a slight breeze was blowing this lovely rubbery smell through the air. Hmmmmm, felt so wrong and so right, aroused by this smell, standing in the middle of all those vanillas, such a perv me, haha.

rubber for breakfast....

...but let's start at the beginning of my quiet Friday night in, haha!

Firstly, I didn't stay in but went out to the London munch for some drinkies and socialising with good friends. It was a rather quiet one, but I prefer it that way, enough friends to catch up and chat to, less randoms and even lesser weirdos and no squeezing through and queuing at the bar, lovely!

We ended up having a kinky after munch party at one of my best friends house, which turned out to be good fun and there are now at least two people running around with really bad scratch marks - love my sharp nails <3 !

Playing tictactoe on the boys back scratching the X's and O's into the skin, good fun :P ! Why do people always react like, oh you're evil, you look so lovely and nice, I would not expect this from you. Amusing. The girl with the straight lines down her inner thighs may hate me a little today, but that really was great fun, she made such a lovely squeaking noise, I just couldn't help myself.

At around 4am people packed up and started heading home, I was glad I was offered to crash and hadn't had to go on an hour journey home, taking I was up since 6am Friday I just wanted to sleep. I think I instantly passed out, I didn't even hear my phone beeping because of the low battery and eventually switching off. I think it was around half 11 as I was kind of awake enough and preparing myself mentally to dress and go home( there is something about it going home in last nights clothes, I am never quite sure if I actually enjoy it just a little bit to feel like people can tell I wasn't sleeping in my own bed, haha).
My friend went up and outside to the living room and I thought to myself, just 2 more minutes, then dressing and hunting down some breakfast or better lunch in Camden as he came back in and threw  a big pile of heavy black rubber and lots of rubber straps onto the bed! Rubber for breakfast, lol! The big pile of black rubber was then picked up and I could see it was a full body bag, maybe a little like a sleeping bag, but much tighter. So if you now think that this is all pretty random, it's not; we talked a lot about our 'rubber/latex' fetish but as my interest in this just recently developed/ escalated, I told him I wasn't sure how much it's just fantasy and how much I'm really into all this, seems I am into it more as I thought, sigh.

I got then wrapped up in rubber, feet first, put safely into place, then some sort of cushion-like divider between the legs, arms got stuck into the sleeves....at that point I got just a little bit nervous realising that I won't be going anywhere once this is all closed up, but I haven't had a lot of time thinking and chickening out as I was already asked to roll over so I was lying on my stomach and he could do the zip up all the way up from feet to neck.
Oh dear, that already felt pretty good, but he wasn't done just yet, the hood went over my head, got zipped up and something went around my neck to secure things and keep it in place I guess, I can only tell it felt really good. Then lots of rubber straps got applied, not sure how many, one was around my knees, after he pulled this one tight I could barely move, my knees tightly pressed together; one around the hips which was holding my wrists snug to my body, one or two around my upper body, think there was one under and one over my boobs but I can't really tell, the tighter the whole wrap got the less I really cared, I was just enjoying the hole experience so much, relaxing into it really well. As he was done with the straps the eyepiece/blindfold got reattached to the hood. I expected to be left to it for a while, not expecting a lot of attention, bit worried I may not like it and would want to get out really quickly again, but my train of thought got interrupted by him pulling the eyepiece off again and putting a gas mask on top of the hood instead, now that was hot! I first got really nervous and was worried I wouldn't be able to breathe properly but after asking nicely for a little re-adjustment it was all ok, I slowly calmed down realising that it's all good and I'm well looked after.
Just as my breathing settled into a nice steady rhythm I could feel his body pressing against the rubber and his hands stroking over the material - OMG, this was really arousing, the sensation through the skin tight rubber, knowing he's probably enjoying it as much or even more than I do and then fingers pinching my nipples, ouw!

I am a wimp with having my nipples tortured, they are sooo sensitive it's pathetic, but I really enjoyed it, well to some extent, as he nearly made me cry he thankfully stopped, I can imagine being a sobbing mess under a gasmask is not very helpful for the breathing part.

The gasmask eventually came off but that was it, I stayed the way I was, wrapped up nicely not going anywhere...but I loved it! The feel, the enclosure, the slowly rising temperature caused by the duvet on top of me and having a normal chat, awesome! I thought it's just fantastic, being in this happy place and being able to have a normal conversation, sigh, all depending on him though and what he fancies doing, being totally helpless.

I eventually got unwrapped and sent off to shower; there I could smell it then, hmmmm rubber! So lovely! Pure bliss :D, really was in a very happy place there enclosed in rubber and being toyed around with.

I got home shortly after and the first thing on my list was having a wank, still smelling the rubber I really got off on it, I'm such a pervert :P .

I'll be back for more!

<3

encouraged

I learnt something very valuable about myself. I really do have a very big thing for rubber/latex and I will have to explore it more and not depend this onto a person but do it for myself, like everything else I did.

Balance is the key!

latex...

I went to showgirls again, to get the seam fixed on my leggings which I wanted to wear on Saturday but couldn't because of the hole I discovered just minutes before leaving the house. They were really nice and she fixed it for me, checked all the other seams so we haven't got the same problem again while I was waiting a few minutes. I then saw those wrist length gloves, in a kind of mannequin color, really pretty and I wanted them instantly. They look nearly like skin, just better *sigh* .

Looking to get some mannequin-colored or natural semi transparent  leggings with a black seam, rubber55 does them, they do a really nice catsuit like that as well, looks like a 2nd skin, hmmm, so yummy!

The whole idea is to be covered but pretty, like a pretty doll! I want!

<3

crazy or just another fetish?

How far is too far? I re-joined rubberpal on recommendation of a friend to find out more about latex-fetishists and what makes them tick and how bad mine is, my fetish I mean.

I am doing baby steps with it at the moment but I really want to know, so I may go for a friends offer and experience a rubber based play session to see if it's ultimately for me.

Sky is still interesting and I think he's really pleased that I didn't 'run off' as he started telling me what he likes.

Let's see how things develop.

I'm very very intrigued....

I love Atsuko Kudo Latex....mmmm

I went to shop spontaneously yesterday - was after something new and to get some more ideas for future purchases...I first tried breathless but that was a waste of time so I went to Showgirls in Highbury/Islington and started there.

I tried one of their dresses I quite like to have as a top, but with long sleeves and tried several jackets and know now what I will get soon ( have to save up for it). She wrote all those things down, as well as she took all my measurements, so Atsuko Kudo has me got on file now and I can order online and they will know how to make it made to measure for me personally - love it!

I bought some new black AK leggings, love them so much, ohhhh! Worn them out last night to Camden and think of wearing them tonight again, they are not 'kinky' but fashionable, just slightly more expensive and sooo much prettier as those stupid wet look leggings everybody is wearing.

I <3 latex

Club Rub?

With all that latex talk lately I am desperate to get out an into some rubber on the weekend...

latex geeks and extreme fetishes

Right, I am currently trying my luck on okcupid. A vanilla dating webpage, yes, I know. It's going quite well though, met some really nice people over there, was on a few good dates and currently chat with someone really rather intriguing which brings me to the point. I will call him Sky for further reference.

Sky messaged me one night via the sites IM system, rather straight forward but not rude, so I replied and we got talking, we soon moved on to msn so he could share some photos, as he told me he has a really big latex fetish, well, that's fine with me I thought, but yes, he's rather crazy about it, what I find really interesting. He showed me some photos and explained me what he has in mind for his partner, how he wants her to look and all that refers to her being covered in as much latex as possible and he got me with this, I never really wasted a thought of doing this as I am really not able to finance such a big fetish, but remembering the way I felt as I was wearing a friends latex hood and my dress for a fetish night out, I get really excited about pushing this further, much further as I ever thought I am willing to go. The more we speak the more he interests me, I feel like we would get on rather well. He's worried I will make a run but I don't think his fetish is that extreme, I'm curious, not scared or put off even, understanding why he's wanting to do this.

I'm not sure if we will ever meet, but I really hope we will. I have to see how things go, I want to know if we really get on that well in real life.

No time for kink!

So it seems I am not going to have time to be kinky the next say 3 weeks or so! My work rota is full, fuller, fullest and I have about 4 days of in 3 weeks, which leave me with 2 Sundays and my birthday and a Friday...

Ok,ok, the Sundays are 4th and 11th, so that means there is LAM and Peer Rope, however, I will probably be too tired to really enjoy any of those!

I need a massage! And I need some discipline! sigh!

Why does it have to get worse all the time, job was really good up to a few weeks back :(

Well, am off to bed now like a good girl ( or better a really tired one!)

Mxx

So what is all the fuss about?

Yes, I am asking this myself. I really don't get why I just seem to be not able to meet someone nice. I get jealous when I see my friends all loved up with their partners. I am single for too long and it just doesn't feel right. Friends tell me that I am a wonderful person. So why am I alone? Why am I the only person alone? It's like some old gypsy lady cursed me.

And then I ask myself why am making such a fuss, I have great friends, a good job I enjoy, a fab social life. I don't miss much, do I?!

I should get a pet. That would sort things for me. A friend has a really friendly cat, once they figured how to clone on demand for the general public I want a copy of this one!

Intro

This is not my first Blog but that one is now closed and so I decided to start new and fresh here and now.

I am not a great writer but I sometimes feel like writing things down somehow clarifies and helps making a decision.

I love erotic fiction and I did previously write things myself, however I lack the muse at the moment, hopefully that will change soon!

Bye for now,

Mxx