So that's her then?

I am about to meet my inner doll soon. This probably sounds a little funny, but I am serious. A while back I discovered that I have a rather big latex bug, thinking about what I want and discussing it with Sky I quickly figured that total enclosure in latex is indeed very attractive to me and then I thought 'but I don't want to look like those rubber dolls', mostly wearing black latex all over, sometimes with blown up boobs and unnatural looking 'skin'; I don't want to be black, or red or pink, I want to be perfect and the thought of a porcelain doll, mannequin was born.
This thought since developed but never left me again. I want to be perfect with flawless skin. Perfect and loved and looked after, admired and used and cared for. After having had the chance to look at the colour sample of Rubber55 mannequin coloured latex, I instantly fell for it to be honest, I decided that I will get a hood and a catsuit in exactly this colour. This was about a month ago.
Yesterday I ordered it. I ordered her skin so to say. She's going to need clothes and hair, preferably red curly hair, I haven't found anything suitable yet though, but maybe she's going to have to be without it at first, or maybe with black hair. But yes, she'll need clothes, she can hardly be naked all the time. I was thinking of getting her the same top I have in black in white latex and with a white matching skirt, the skirt will have a black trim around the waist and maybe some pretty white gloves with black trim going with it. oh the options are endless here though and this is not the most important thing just yet.
Then I know she's got a little thing for the 'sex doll' libidex has got on their web page in their fantasy section, she's hoping that who ever is going to own her some day will occasionally stick her in this one for some more naughty play.
She'll not be able to wear the perfect looking skin everyday, but for outings with her owner she'll happily dress in latex, thinking of that, there are so many pretty designs, some printed, some just matt which are more than suitable for 'vanilla' outings and can be thought of when things are more established. She can imagine this will be the way things develop though depending on the owner.

I think she's a little bit scared, or am I? Maybe we are. It's all pretty new and will develop all by itself, so thinking about details to much will just disappoint me or her, or even both of us.

I hope we'll find someone who loves us both, so if there are doubts at any point we'll be able to be strong together. Ultimately, she's me and I'm her, but right now I still separate the both and I have no real idea for how long this will be like this, but I know that I want to know that someone appreciates me for who I am and who I want to be.

One little thing, I am talking about her and me as two different people but I am totally aware that we are not; this helps me to accept that there is something to my kink I have to discover, I know I am not alone with this but I know too that most people are stuck in their fantasy and things hardly ever become reality. How much it's going to be part of my day to day and how much it's going to work for us, when there is a us to work it out at some point is yet unclear and needs to be established there and then, but it's very important to me that whoever will join me for this journey loves me first and then the doll within me. I want to be in a loving, caring relationship and embrace my fetish, our fetish.

Mxx