I haven't been posting in a while, mostly because I haven't had anything to tell, or I didn't feel like sharing it here.
Now the last months since mid July where dominated by real life and kinksville with all it's amneties just wasn't anything I needed. I needed grown up real life stuff, finding a place to live, keeping my job, etc etc.
Now I feel really run down, just after moving house I got ill with a cold and still suffer, so whilst I sit at home and rest I got plenty of time to reflect on what I need to make me feel happy again.
For one, I need a kinky partner, someone who takes control and gives me guidance, I want D/s. I was never really sure about this, but I crave structure and love, affection and on top of it all, I crave some decent marks, bruises, welts, I want them, I need them, I haven't had them in too long now and I don't feel I can go without it for much longer. I want it to be important to both though, not just a play session, or someone doing it for me, it doesn't feel right when someone does you a favour hitting you with a cane or paddle a few times, but they aren't really enjoying it. I want someone who wants to hurt me and then wrap me in a blanket and tell me what a good girl I am.
I will leave this unfinished, I feel like this is more me venting than writing a proper post, but it will go up anyway.
Mx
About Me
- Im_mischief
- London, United Kingdom
- I aim to use this blog to get things off my chest, capture my exploits, write some real porn...! All I write really happens, if I ever post fiction I will make this clear in the blog title ;). Feel free to comment if you feel that you have something to add, or just to let me know your thoughts. Lately this is all about dollification and latex, but that changes quite frequently....
Sunday 6 November 2011
Sunday 22 May 2011
Fetish Clubbing - Do I expect too much I wonder...
The rather shocking experience last night made me wonder, what are we willing to accept to be able to indulge in our fetish? There aren't that many clubs around and my personal favourite had its time and seem to have died in silence, but that is not what I want to write about, I want you to ask yourself, how awful have the standards to be that you stand up and complain and not go back till things are better? You wouldn't pay £18 to get into a vanilla Club of the same size and state, but you happily pay it for a Fetish Club, have we lost our mind?
We ventured to Club Rub last night, I personally never been before but I went to a lot of excellent and some average Fetish Clubs before, but last night truly topped this, average is not the right word, dire is, or appalling. We checked the website for ticket prices and where abouts the club is now located, finding that it has 'moved' again and we thought that can only mean the old venue wasn't good and the new one is an improvement. Well, I was mistaken. We arrived and the lady at the till was struggling as she hasn't had enough change and two of my friends had to wait till someone went to the bar and got some more, I went inside as I was desperate for the ladies and my first impression was 'ugh, it's hot in here, how am I going to survive wearing all the rubber' but first things first, finding the ladies. At the door we were informed that there is a changing area on the far left upstairs and that there is another toilet, but the toilets would be on the right in the venue if I'd prefer that. I couldn't find the stairs to the far left upstairs!!! So I gave up and went to the ladies toilets first, nearly falling over as the dancefloor had a round edge and was poorly lid, reaching the door I was surprised to find two toilets for all the people, the door of the cubicle actually nearly touching the toilet seat so you have to squeeze in next to the loo to actually get in and out again, surely that would have been even more fun all covered in latex, happy days, glad it didn't came to this.
I then went again to find the upstairs changing area....the only problem with that, there wasn't one. I found the door, the stairs were dark and I had my 2nd experience of nearly falling over as I couldn't see the first step, the lights were out, half way up they came back on, and I could actually see what I'm doing. Reaching the top I found my two friends again, one standing in the corridor and one half way inside the one toilet we talked earlier about, but there was no changing area. At that point I had enough for my liking and said that I will go home and ask my money back on my way out.
I went downstairs again, half way down the stairs the lights suddenly went again, what a fun thing to have, I'm sure that doesn't conform with any health and safety regulations, but I made it without accident and that's the main thing. I got to the till and told them briefly how disappointed I am and that I nearly fell twice( wearing flats, not even heels) in the couple minutes I was in there and asked my money back which was handed to me without discussion, although I got some puzzled looks from the girl behind the till.
I went outside and got my phone out to look up how to get home, glad I did stick around a few minutes as one of my friends was calling after me just as I started to walk down the road. She's seen enough too and decided to come with me, asked for a refund and left.
We talked about the just experienced and were both shocked about what was offered, the conditions, people accepting this blindly and paying a lot of money for it. She then told me that 4 of our friends which were in a different taxi actually changed in the outside smoking area as there was nowhere space to do so... In short, it was hot, poorly lid to the level of dangerous when the lights suddenly went off whilst you climb the stairs, there was no changing area, we couldn't see a cloakroom.
So now to the question in the title, do I expect too much? I don't think so. We went to Clubs which all charge around that mark, Club Pedestal, Surrender, Club Crimson did ... and they are held in much bigger and nicer venues; the maximum I would have accepted to pay last night would be a fiver and that still is generous.
I don't think we should accept conditions like that, I feel like we are treating ourselves not with the respect we deserve. This is London! Capital of Fetish and Filth, what have we done??? If I would have travelled from say Germany to attend this club night I would never do it ever again. If this would have been a vanilla Club night, people would have complained. So why do we accept poor conditions and cramped, hot venues? You spend a fortune on your outfits, then you go and spend even more on taxis etc, you have to pack a bag if you don't want to travel in full rubber on public transport and scare the nillas and then they charge you a lot of money for storing your bag, if there is a cloakroom and a lot of money to get in, not even talking about the bar prices now. Seriously not ok and as far as I'm concerned this Club night goes straight into the category 'never again'. A shame, because I was looking forward to showing off my white Jane Doe latex...
We ventured to Club Rub last night, I personally never been before but I went to a lot of excellent and some average Fetish Clubs before, but last night truly topped this, average is not the right word, dire is, or appalling. We checked the website for ticket prices and where abouts the club is now located, finding that it has 'moved' again and we thought that can only mean the old venue wasn't good and the new one is an improvement. Well, I was mistaken. We arrived and the lady at the till was struggling as she hasn't had enough change and two of my friends had to wait till someone went to the bar and got some more, I went inside as I was desperate for the ladies and my first impression was 'ugh, it's hot in here, how am I going to survive wearing all the rubber' but first things first, finding the ladies. At the door we were informed that there is a changing area on the far left upstairs and that there is another toilet, but the toilets would be on the right in the venue if I'd prefer that. I couldn't find the stairs to the far left upstairs!!! So I gave up and went to the ladies toilets first, nearly falling over as the dancefloor had a round edge and was poorly lid, reaching the door I was surprised to find two toilets for all the people, the door of the cubicle actually nearly touching the toilet seat so you have to squeeze in next to the loo to actually get in and out again, surely that would have been even more fun all covered in latex, happy days, glad it didn't came to this.
I then went again to find the upstairs changing area....the only problem with that, there wasn't one. I found the door, the stairs were dark and I had my 2nd experience of nearly falling over as I couldn't see the first step, the lights were out, half way up they came back on, and I could actually see what I'm doing. Reaching the top I found my two friends again, one standing in the corridor and one half way inside the one toilet we talked earlier about, but there was no changing area. At that point I had enough for my liking and said that I will go home and ask my money back on my way out.
I went downstairs again, half way down the stairs the lights suddenly went again, what a fun thing to have, I'm sure that doesn't conform with any health and safety regulations, but I made it without accident and that's the main thing. I got to the till and told them briefly how disappointed I am and that I nearly fell twice( wearing flats, not even heels) in the couple minutes I was in there and asked my money back which was handed to me without discussion, although I got some puzzled looks from the girl behind the till.
I went outside and got my phone out to look up how to get home, glad I did stick around a few minutes as one of my friends was calling after me just as I started to walk down the road. She's seen enough too and decided to come with me, asked for a refund and left.
We talked about the just experienced and were both shocked about what was offered, the conditions, people accepting this blindly and paying a lot of money for it. She then told me that 4 of our friends which were in a different taxi actually changed in the outside smoking area as there was nowhere space to do so... In short, it was hot, poorly lid to the level of dangerous when the lights suddenly went off whilst you climb the stairs, there was no changing area, we couldn't see a cloakroom.
So now to the question in the title, do I expect too much? I don't think so. We went to Clubs which all charge around that mark, Club Pedestal, Surrender, Club Crimson did ... and they are held in much bigger and nicer venues; the maximum I would have accepted to pay last night would be a fiver and that still is generous.
I don't think we should accept conditions like that, I feel like we are treating ourselves not with the respect we deserve. This is London! Capital of Fetish and Filth, what have we done??? If I would have travelled from say Germany to attend this club night I would never do it ever again. If this would have been a vanilla Club night, people would have complained. So why do we accept poor conditions and cramped, hot venues? You spend a fortune on your outfits, then you go and spend even more on taxis etc, you have to pack a bag if you don't want to travel in full rubber on public transport and scare the nillas and then they charge you a lot of money for storing your bag, if there is a cloakroom and a lot of money to get in, not even talking about the bar prices now. Seriously not ok and as far as I'm concerned this Club night goes straight into the category 'never again'. A shame, because I was looking forward to showing off my white Jane Doe latex...
Sunday 17 April 2011
embrace your inner slut...
I am feeling really happy today.
It's like my New Years Goal of being more out there, have fun and enjoy my kinks and sexuality really are working for me and I had a very hot and sexy weekend so far; starting with the Camden Crunch on Friday and snogging two very yummy boys, a steaming hot Spring Party on Saturday night and hopefully finishing off with some amazing tying at peer rope later today... .
Last night I overcome one of my fears, to an extend, but knowing now it all went well I feel confident in 'trying' it again. Some of my best friends hosted one of the most amazing and stunning kinky parties so far. Given you could signal what type of player you are with coloured ribbon around your wrist or arm, that was my chance to go down the 'whore' route and just enjoy and accept and relax, so I took a deep breath and put on a green ribbon, saying 'take me, I'm willing to be whorish', knowing this could eventually push my boundaries and get me into situations I may not like too much.
The urge to just be 'available' was bigger at the end than the fear of maybe getting 'used' in a way I may not like too much. I'm not someone who asks for play and usually end up not playing as I'm scared of getting rejected and worried I may annoy the other if I ask for play, so signalling I'm available without having to say it out loud was perfect and worked out pretty well.
Running last nights events past my inner eye I think it all went well, I am glad I got to play with some amazing people and went home with a big smile on my face. I feel as well that I got to know some of the newer people a bit better and I would have hoped to engage a little more with some of them on a play level, but maybe that will come at some point. Let's wait and see. So running the risk of sounding greedy, I wish I would have had a couple more people being a bit more demanding towards me last night, but for a first I suppose it all went well and gave me something to look forward to, embracing my slut side :D - hopefully a lot more in the next few months.... .
It's like my New Years Goal of being more out there, have fun and enjoy my kinks and sexuality really are working for me and I had a very hot and sexy weekend so far; starting with the Camden Crunch on Friday and snogging two very yummy boys, a steaming hot Spring Party on Saturday night and hopefully finishing off with some amazing tying at peer rope later today... .
Last night I overcome one of my fears, to an extend, but knowing now it all went well I feel confident in 'trying' it again. Some of my best friends hosted one of the most amazing and stunning kinky parties so far. Given you could signal what type of player you are with coloured ribbon around your wrist or arm, that was my chance to go down the 'whore' route and just enjoy and accept and relax, so I took a deep breath and put on a green ribbon, saying 'take me, I'm willing to be whorish', knowing this could eventually push my boundaries and get me into situations I may not like too much.
The urge to just be 'available' was bigger at the end than the fear of maybe getting 'used' in a way I may not like too much. I'm not someone who asks for play and usually end up not playing as I'm scared of getting rejected and worried I may annoy the other if I ask for play, so signalling I'm available without having to say it out loud was perfect and worked out pretty well.
Running last nights events past my inner eye I think it all went well, I am glad I got to play with some amazing people and went home with a big smile on my face. I feel as well that I got to know some of the newer people a bit better and I would have hoped to engage a little more with some of them on a play level, but maybe that will come at some point. Let's wait and see. So running the risk of sounding greedy, I wish I would have had a couple more people being a bit more demanding towards me last night, but for a first I suppose it all went well and gave me something to look forward to, embracing my slut side :D - hopefully a lot more in the next few months.... .
Monday 14 March 2011
bruises - aftermath
So the last 10 days were quite intense. I had for everyone visible marks for the first time, something I wasn't very well prepared for, my make up skills really do need a bit of a freshening up I suppose. I had a black eye, bruised chin, marks on my jaw line on the left and some lighter but still visible marks on my right side of my face.
For a change I won't be going into detail of the play, all I can say is that he truly fucked me up and I loved it. I was crying my heart out, still sobbing and crying minutes afterwards. I wasn't expecting to be so intensely marked though, that was kinda unexpected and really fucked with my head.
I like to say that I would repeat this at some point, maybe not tomorrow and maybe not exactly the same way, but I enjoyed it.
I had a hard time afterwards, I never dropped so badly from play and I never had to pretend for days and days to come that everything is normal. I wasn't able to cover the eye or chin with make up and I knew I have to be in work on Monday, it was freaking me out, I can't go to work like that I thought, well I can't call in sick either, sigh, I went to buy some other make up, concealer, foundation, powder, end result was ok but nowhere near perfect and I was really worried.
Getting into work on Monday was really demanding some big portion of self-control and backbone and I wasn't sure if I can answer if anyone asks me what had happened, a few hours in and no one had asked, I started to feel a bit better, they obviously noticed, but weren't thinking abuse or anything and left me to it. The following day was easier, still nerve wrecking and straining, but better and so I slowly felt better too.
I managed to get through the week and I'm really proud I did. I had plenty of support from my playmate during that time and from some of my closest friends and I like to say thank you to all of you who were supportive, you really helped me through this.
So aftermath, this was the hottest thing to date, I loved the bruises, the shades the feel of them as much as I loved the way I got them, it just was the right thing to happen, weird isn't it.
Anyway, the marks are nearly gone, some light shades of yellow is all that is left, they say it takes ten days for bruises to go, suppose it's right.
PS: I promise I will never bring warm Stella home ever again ;)
For a change I won't be going into detail of the play, all I can say is that he truly fucked me up and I loved it. I was crying my heart out, still sobbing and crying minutes afterwards. I wasn't expecting to be so intensely marked though, that was kinda unexpected and really fucked with my head.
I like to say that I would repeat this at some point, maybe not tomorrow and maybe not exactly the same way, but I enjoyed it.
I had a hard time afterwards, I never dropped so badly from play and I never had to pretend for days and days to come that everything is normal. I wasn't able to cover the eye or chin with make up and I knew I have to be in work on Monday, it was freaking me out, I can't go to work like that I thought, well I can't call in sick either, sigh, I went to buy some other make up, concealer, foundation, powder, end result was ok but nowhere near perfect and I was really worried.
Getting into work on Monday was really demanding some big portion of self-control and backbone and I wasn't sure if I can answer if anyone asks me what had happened, a few hours in and no one had asked, I started to feel a bit better, they obviously noticed, but weren't thinking abuse or anything and left me to it. The following day was easier, still nerve wrecking and straining, but better and so I slowly felt better too.
I managed to get through the week and I'm really proud I did. I had plenty of support from my playmate during that time and from some of my closest friends and I like to say thank you to all of you who were supportive, you really helped me through this.
So aftermath, this was the hottest thing to date, I loved the bruises, the shades the feel of them as much as I loved the way I got them, it just was the right thing to happen, weird isn't it.
Anyway, the marks are nearly gone, some light shades of yellow is all that is left, they say it takes ten days for bruises to go, suppose it's right.
PS: I promise I will never bring warm Stella home ever again ;)
Saturday 26 February 2011
interesting reactions and breaking toys
So I haven't yet felt it would be necessary to write down what I do with the little bitch boy, mostly because they aren't firsts, they are good fun, I enjoy myself, but nothing special happens or happened yet, so I suppose I don't want to bore you all and make you run and never come back to read my blog ever again. But. Yes there is now a but, reason why I'm writing this because I got some interesting feedback followed by some very interesting reactions.
After he had better things to do than seeing me last week I told him that that will have consequences, cancelling on me is something you just don't do. So I said that the next time I see him he gets punished, with the cane. Further he was not allowed to cum. After a few days I extended this to not allowed to touch or play. After a few days, that was Sunday I think, he asked me fairly desperately when he would be able to see me again. My answer was Thursday. He wasn't happy about that and asked if there is any other way to see me earlier than Thursday! I said I will consider Tuesday, but as I was going to be exhausted from work I wasn't sure about having him around for play and punishment. It stayed Thursday at the end.
He arrived at my house, in time, with the requested bottle of red wine for me in his hands. I took the bottle of him, looked at him and said 'you know what to do, cuffs and locks are on the counter' and walked of towards living room where I had everything I needed and more in place. After a minute or two I could hear the rattling of the padlocks on the wrist and ankle cuffs, slowly getting louder whilst he was approaching the living room. As this was punishment there was no warm up planned and I wasn't going to give him one.
I tied him to the living room table, left and right wrist, ankles wide spread with my spreader bar, the bar attached to the table with some rope, no way to escape now. Clover clamps came out and got attached to his nipples, poor boy whining, he doesn't like them that much and was obviously in pain, but I thought he'll soon forget about them when the first stroke with the cane blows down on his ass.
I got myself in place, he knew what was coming, he was prepared, he knew he fucked up and will have to go through this now. Whack, the first one done, but nothing from the boy. I said 'I can't hear you', still nothing, repeating myself, he looks at me, you want me to count, yes count and thank me. Telling him that this one won't count I started again and he was now counting and thanking me for every single one of them, 15 in total, plus the first he fucked up. He was shaking, I felt oddly aroused. Mine. Mine to use as I see fit. He said it, he won't obey, whatever I see fit will be done, he doesn't deserve to voice his likes or dislikes.
I kept it to the caning, pulling of the clamps I felt like this was enough and decided that anything else would be more reward than he deserves. Getting me a glass wine I felt great. He started stroking me, I like the attention, soon my dress came off and he was pleasuring me with his tongue, legs wide spread in front of him it would have been so easy for him to take advantage of me, I could see it in his face, he was wondering if an attempt to fuck me would be tolerated, his facial expression amusing me, he didn't dare, I don't think he ever would. Oh how I love this power I have over him.
Cutting long short I did let him cum that night, under one condition, he was to eat his cum afterwards, clean up the mess. He really wasn't impressed as I was following through with this little condition, I think he secretly hoped he'll get out of it somehow. I enjoyed this a lot, the humiliation, the defeated look in his face, fantastic. He told me that the thought of it was hot as he agreed to it, however just after cumming it's not. Not for him anyway, I had good fun watching him.
Last night at the London munch he told me he was feeling weirdly down after finally cumming and that the depressed feeling didn't go away as he would have had expected after he was allowed to orgasm. I kind of put it down to some sort of sub drop, not sure how to describe it.
We ended up going to a strip club after the munch, together with some friends, before heading back to mine. On the way to the club I took his phone of him, I have to actually get someone to explain me the bloody iphone, I'm rather useless with it so far and I would enjoy being able to play around with it more. Anyway, phone off the boy, he was mostly behaving himself all night. As we got back to mine he was quite cocky and after taking it in for a few moments I stood him in the middle of the room, made him spread his legs and started caning his inner thighs, probably up to eight whacks per leg, turning him around, another two or so across the bum, standing in front of him, looking at him, he suddenly started crying. Now that was probably the one thing I didn't expect to happen. I was sure it was more to do with anything else but the caning, but could imagine this might have triggered it, combined with the seemingly careless attitude of mine, his own music plugged in the speakers, the things he told me at the munch. Result was we talked about it this morning and he thinks he just needed it. Oddly for me, I didn't feel weirded out by the whole situation, I just wasn't expecting it to happen, thinking it would be much harder to make him cry, but I enjoyed the look of him, the look of my broken toy, standing there in the middle of the room, head down, hands in his face, sobbing. Hot! I'm a sick, sick kitty ;)
After he had better things to do than seeing me last week I told him that that will have consequences, cancelling on me is something you just don't do. So I said that the next time I see him he gets punished, with the cane. Further he was not allowed to cum. After a few days I extended this to not allowed to touch or play. After a few days, that was Sunday I think, he asked me fairly desperately when he would be able to see me again. My answer was Thursday. He wasn't happy about that and asked if there is any other way to see me earlier than Thursday! I said I will consider Tuesday, but as I was going to be exhausted from work I wasn't sure about having him around for play and punishment. It stayed Thursday at the end.
He arrived at my house, in time, with the requested bottle of red wine for me in his hands. I took the bottle of him, looked at him and said 'you know what to do, cuffs and locks are on the counter' and walked of towards living room where I had everything I needed and more in place. After a minute or two I could hear the rattling of the padlocks on the wrist and ankle cuffs, slowly getting louder whilst he was approaching the living room. As this was punishment there was no warm up planned and I wasn't going to give him one.
I tied him to the living room table, left and right wrist, ankles wide spread with my spreader bar, the bar attached to the table with some rope, no way to escape now. Clover clamps came out and got attached to his nipples, poor boy whining, he doesn't like them that much and was obviously in pain, but I thought he'll soon forget about them when the first stroke with the cane blows down on his ass.
I got myself in place, he knew what was coming, he was prepared, he knew he fucked up and will have to go through this now. Whack, the first one done, but nothing from the boy. I said 'I can't hear you', still nothing, repeating myself, he looks at me, you want me to count, yes count and thank me. Telling him that this one won't count I started again and he was now counting and thanking me for every single one of them, 15 in total, plus the first he fucked up. He was shaking, I felt oddly aroused. Mine. Mine to use as I see fit. He said it, he won't obey, whatever I see fit will be done, he doesn't deserve to voice his likes or dislikes.
I kept it to the caning, pulling of the clamps I felt like this was enough and decided that anything else would be more reward than he deserves. Getting me a glass wine I felt great. He started stroking me, I like the attention, soon my dress came off and he was pleasuring me with his tongue, legs wide spread in front of him it would have been so easy for him to take advantage of me, I could see it in his face, he was wondering if an attempt to fuck me would be tolerated, his facial expression amusing me, he didn't dare, I don't think he ever would. Oh how I love this power I have over him.
Cutting long short I did let him cum that night, under one condition, he was to eat his cum afterwards, clean up the mess. He really wasn't impressed as I was following through with this little condition, I think he secretly hoped he'll get out of it somehow. I enjoyed this a lot, the humiliation, the defeated look in his face, fantastic. He told me that the thought of it was hot as he agreed to it, however just after cumming it's not. Not for him anyway, I had good fun watching him.
Last night at the London munch he told me he was feeling weirdly down after finally cumming and that the depressed feeling didn't go away as he would have had expected after he was allowed to orgasm. I kind of put it down to some sort of sub drop, not sure how to describe it.
We ended up going to a strip club after the munch, together with some friends, before heading back to mine. On the way to the club I took his phone of him, I have to actually get someone to explain me the bloody iphone, I'm rather useless with it so far and I would enjoy being able to play around with it more. Anyway, phone off the boy, he was mostly behaving himself all night. As we got back to mine he was quite cocky and after taking it in for a few moments I stood him in the middle of the room, made him spread his legs and started caning his inner thighs, probably up to eight whacks per leg, turning him around, another two or so across the bum, standing in front of him, looking at him, he suddenly started crying. Now that was probably the one thing I didn't expect to happen. I was sure it was more to do with anything else but the caning, but could imagine this might have triggered it, combined with the seemingly careless attitude of mine, his own music plugged in the speakers, the things he told me at the munch. Result was we talked about it this morning and he thinks he just needed it. Oddly for me, I didn't feel weirded out by the whole situation, I just wasn't expecting it to happen, thinking it would be much harder to make him cry, but I enjoyed the look of him, the look of my broken toy, standing there in the middle of the room, head down, hands in his face, sobbing. Hot! I'm a sick, sick kitty ;)
Friday 25 February 2011
Silly girly fun on a school night....
Right I have to warn you, if you can't deal with so much play and spontaneity you better don't read any further :P I seem to have the time of my life at the moment, don't jinx it....
Planned were some quiet after work drinks with Nightfire and Steve, just us three, a couple of beers and then home time, but as twitter seems to work well for our group of perverts, we soon were a group of 8 or so meeting for drinks in Camden, a spontaneous munch I suppose. I loved it. After 5 days of work work work and no play I just wanted to spend some time with friends, drink and be merry. I got there just after 8pm and most of my friends were already present, including the lovely Swan who usually doesn't make it out on a school night, but as I knew of previous twitter catch up she had a bit of a rubbish day and needed some socialising and good company too. After a few drinks and people coming and leaving I moved chairs and sat next to her. I don't know what it is and why I'm like this with her, but I don't mind a bit of body contact with her, small, unnoticeable strokes over her leg, I always seem to get quite touchy feely with any of my girl friends, not just her, which hardly ever leads to more, sometimes to some girl snogging and fondling with the gorgeous Kitty, but my gay tendencies are generally quite low. I probably fit in the hetero-flexible box if you want to label me.
When I choose my play partners it's all based on attraction and mental stimulation. A Top or Dom has to be stimulating, intelligent, challenging, wiser, smart, good looking, strong-minded and persuasive, a sub boy just needs to be adorably cute, I don't care about anything else, pathetic or not, cute is key, I like to be mean to cute boys, in play they don't need to have any quality other than being cute, good and do as they told. Playing with girls is different though, it's not their sex, it's just a body, I have to be attracted to them, but it's parts of their body, the whole is just there for me to use, abuse, hurt, stroke, calm. I don't feel sexually attracted, but stimulated by the reaction I get.
We sat there for a little longer and Steve re-joined the group just before the pub called the last rounds. We left and headed down the street to pub No 2 for the night, the Dev is a dark and dirty place, somewhere you won't get told of for some light-hearted filthy behaviour. I admit I was merry at that stage, but always aware of what I was doing. My hands wandered under Swans skirt, pushing it higher up and exposing more of her long legs, she tensed up. It's adorable how much it seems to bother her that someone else around might be watching and observing, the exact thing which motivates me doing naughty things in public, if you don't want to see it you don't look, I don't force you to look my way ;). Steve and I were now stroking her body, having her sitting between us. He then suggested to take this further back at his and have me fuck her with a strap on whilst she's tied down and he's enjoying the show. Fuck yes I thought, I'm up for that. I love spontaneity, less room for chickening out as nothing is planned far in advance, things just happen. some of my best experiences so far happened spontaneously. Steve told her the plan and there was agreement. Smiling at her with my 'looking forward to later' spark in my eyes I carried on teasing her, not caring about the people around us that much.
The pub closed and we headed of to Steve's, considering walking, or taking a bus....ending up taking a taxi, which I really appreciated.
After arriving at his he handed me wrist and ankle cuffs with padlocks, after they were secure in place I got to choose a collar and picked the high posture one which looked really pretty on her. Only wearing her skirt and knickers now her cute breasts were exposed and basically screaming 'please abuse me' at us; he got some clamps, plenty actually and started applying them to her nipples, inner thighs and then some more left and right of each nipple. I started playing with the clamps, stroking her skin, running my hands down her stomach, flicking the ones applied to her thighs. I loved the look of her, relaxing into the pain, letting us play with her, trusting us. The clamps came off each followed by little gasps. I was now left alone with her for a moment. Standing in front of her I started to spank her inner thighs and her breasts. There is something oddly erotic about just using my hands, empowering maybe, it's hard to describe. Her reactions were just gorgeous and only made me want to hurt her even more.
Food was ready, so we were taking a short break now to have some pizza, which must have looked quite funny and I remember threatening her with the hot piece of pizza close to her nipple, but that was just fun and I wouldn't have done that, don't play with food and especially not with pizza! lol.
After we finished eating Steve got up and lead her to the bedroom, I followed them and watched him with great joy whilst he was preparing my fuck toy, tying her limps to the bed, spread out in front of me, I started running my hands over her legs, caressing her, being not a lot of help with the tying bit but I was filled with too much anticipation and to be honest a little nervous. I had no idea from here how to go on about things, but I didn't have to!
Once he was done with tying her down he turned to me, standing behind me he undid my jeans, pulled them down, next my top came off, then my bra, all happening smooth and effortless. Once completely naked he held the harness for me so I could step in, pulled the straps tight, first right side, then the left. I really enjoyed this being 'dressed' for what was to follow.
So for me there were two main things happening in my head at this very moment, my Top side looking forward to abuse the girls' body which was spread out on his bed for me to use. The Sub side enjoying the being prepared and being given no choice whether to keep some clothes on or what type of strap on will be used...the whole moment was very hot indeed.
Ready for some action I joined Swan on the bed, now we were both aware that this is going to be a bit of a giggle and as I had never done this before I could already see some difficulties coming my way. I figured that the position she was in wasn't going to work for me, for the disappointment of him I suppose, as he would have had no problem fucking her in this position but for me this was a bit too advanced and complicated so I asked for her to be re-positioned and having her on all fours was working out fine for both of us.
Once we had the logistics sorted I could focus on my toy again, god I really enjoyed the whole situation, knowing he was standing behind us was giving me a little kick. I found my rhythm, but was a little unsure first about how she likes it, her reactions sounded positive though and I got really off on it, amazing! On this note, god this is hard work, fuck, girls aren't made to use any of the muscle groups I used on Tuesday night and I soon had to give in and rely on dildo in hand action rather than me actually fucking her, but that gave me a bit more control as well. Overall I really enjoyed this, we had a laugh and some good naughty girl on girl fun.
We had a nice cuddle after I untied her and had checked that she had a good time too, realising he was probably in the front room, we pulled the duvet and went straight to sleep.
A little later I woke up finding myself lying between them both, wrapped up and cosy, I haven't slept so well in ages.
The aftermath:
-I need more practise.
-I would have enjoyed him joining in and I'm pretty sure I'm not alone with this thought.
-I am looking forward to some face to face feedback from her.
-I need a personal trainer to build up those 'fucking muscles'
Planned were some quiet after work drinks with Nightfire and Steve, just us three, a couple of beers and then home time, but as twitter seems to work well for our group of perverts, we soon were a group of 8 or so meeting for drinks in Camden, a spontaneous munch I suppose. I loved it. After 5 days of work work work and no play I just wanted to spend some time with friends, drink and be merry. I got there just after 8pm and most of my friends were already present, including the lovely Swan who usually doesn't make it out on a school night, but as I knew of previous twitter catch up she had a bit of a rubbish day and needed some socialising and good company too. After a few drinks and people coming and leaving I moved chairs and sat next to her. I don't know what it is and why I'm like this with her, but I don't mind a bit of body contact with her, small, unnoticeable strokes over her leg, I always seem to get quite touchy feely with any of my girl friends, not just her, which hardly ever leads to more, sometimes to some girl snogging and fondling with the gorgeous Kitty, but my gay tendencies are generally quite low. I probably fit in the hetero-flexible box if you want to label me.
When I choose my play partners it's all based on attraction and mental stimulation. A Top or Dom has to be stimulating, intelligent, challenging, wiser, smart, good looking, strong-minded and persuasive, a sub boy just needs to be adorably cute, I don't care about anything else, pathetic or not, cute is key, I like to be mean to cute boys, in play they don't need to have any quality other than being cute, good and do as they told. Playing with girls is different though, it's not their sex, it's just a body, I have to be attracted to them, but it's parts of their body, the whole is just there for me to use, abuse, hurt, stroke, calm. I don't feel sexually attracted, but stimulated by the reaction I get.
We sat there for a little longer and Steve re-joined the group just before the pub called the last rounds. We left and headed down the street to pub No 2 for the night, the Dev is a dark and dirty place, somewhere you won't get told of for some light-hearted filthy behaviour. I admit I was merry at that stage, but always aware of what I was doing. My hands wandered under Swans skirt, pushing it higher up and exposing more of her long legs, she tensed up. It's adorable how much it seems to bother her that someone else around might be watching and observing, the exact thing which motivates me doing naughty things in public, if you don't want to see it you don't look, I don't force you to look my way ;). Steve and I were now stroking her body, having her sitting between us. He then suggested to take this further back at his and have me fuck her with a strap on whilst she's tied down and he's enjoying the show. Fuck yes I thought, I'm up for that. I love spontaneity, less room for chickening out as nothing is planned far in advance, things just happen. some of my best experiences so far happened spontaneously. Steve told her the plan and there was agreement. Smiling at her with my 'looking forward to later' spark in my eyes I carried on teasing her, not caring about the people around us that much.
The pub closed and we headed of to Steve's, considering walking, or taking a bus....ending up taking a taxi, which I really appreciated.
After arriving at his he handed me wrist and ankle cuffs with padlocks, after they were secure in place I got to choose a collar and picked the high posture one which looked really pretty on her. Only wearing her skirt and knickers now her cute breasts were exposed and basically screaming 'please abuse me' at us; he got some clamps, plenty actually and started applying them to her nipples, inner thighs and then some more left and right of each nipple. I started playing with the clamps, stroking her skin, running my hands down her stomach, flicking the ones applied to her thighs. I loved the look of her, relaxing into the pain, letting us play with her, trusting us. The clamps came off each followed by little gasps. I was now left alone with her for a moment. Standing in front of her I started to spank her inner thighs and her breasts. There is something oddly erotic about just using my hands, empowering maybe, it's hard to describe. Her reactions were just gorgeous and only made me want to hurt her even more.
Food was ready, so we were taking a short break now to have some pizza, which must have looked quite funny and I remember threatening her with the hot piece of pizza close to her nipple, but that was just fun and I wouldn't have done that, don't play with food and especially not with pizza! lol.
After we finished eating Steve got up and lead her to the bedroom, I followed them and watched him with great joy whilst he was preparing my fuck toy, tying her limps to the bed, spread out in front of me, I started running my hands over her legs, caressing her, being not a lot of help with the tying bit but I was filled with too much anticipation and to be honest a little nervous. I had no idea from here how to go on about things, but I didn't have to!
Once he was done with tying her down he turned to me, standing behind me he undid my jeans, pulled them down, next my top came off, then my bra, all happening smooth and effortless. Once completely naked he held the harness for me so I could step in, pulled the straps tight, first right side, then the left. I really enjoyed this being 'dressed' for what was to follow.
So for me there were two main things happening in my head at this very moment, my Top side looking forward to abuse the girls' body which was spread out on his bed for me to use. The Sub side enjoying the being prepared and being given no choice whether to keep some clothes on or what type of strap on will be used...the whole moment was very hot indeed.
Ready for some action I joined Swan on the bed, now we were both aware that this is going to be a bit of a giggle and as I had never done this before I could already see some difficulties coming my way. I figured that the position she was in wasn't going to work for me, for the disappointment of him I suppose, as he would have had no problem fucking her in this position but for me this was a bit too advanced and complicated so I asked for her to be re-positioned and having her on all fours was working out fine for both of us.
Once we had the logistics sorted I could focus on my toy again, god I really enjoyed the whole situation, knowing he was standing behind us was giving me a little kick. I found my rhythm, but was a little unsure first about how she likes it, her reactions sounded positive though and I got really off on it, amazing! On this note, god this is hard work, fuck, girls aren't made to use any of the muscle groups I used on Tuesday night and I soon had to give in and rely on dildo in hand action rather than me actually fucking her, but that gave me a bit more control as well. Overall I really enjoyed this, we had a laugh and some good naughty girl on girl fun.
We had a nice cuddle after I untied her and had checked that she had a good time too, realising he was probably in the front room, we pulled the duvet and went straight to sleep.
A little later I woke up finding myself lying between them both, wrapped up and cosy, I haven't slept so well in ages.
The aftermath:
-I need more practise.
-I would have enjoyed him joining in and I'm pretty sure I'm not alone with this thought.
-I am looking forward to some face to face feedback from her.
-I need a personal trainer to build up those 'fucking muscles'
Tuesday 15 February 2011
Fucktoy Tuesday? WTF! ;)
ok ok, I got myself into this allllll by myself again, haha, I'm not complaining :D!
still owing him a blow job I couldn't resist but started to stroke his cock, hoping he'll just grab my head and push it under the duvet and guess what, he did! God, it's hot under the duvet, totally added to the feeling used feeling. I got to suck his gorgeous cock for a little while but was then thrown over and held down to be fucked hard from behind, his hands pushing me down into the pillow with all his weight, holding me there in place, fucking me. I like the violent approach and the you're just a fucktoy treatment, thinking of being used and abused really turns me on. Rather harsh instructions follow, ass out, face down! I open my legs even wider and move towards his hard thrusts, wanting to feel him even deeper. His deep thrusts pushing me into the pillows, I love being fucked like that.
He then let go of me and turns me around on my back, everything happens really fast, as he sits on my chest and pushes his hard cock deep down my throat I think he'll probably face fuck me, which is really hot, but he just pushes his cock deep in and holds it there, cutting of air, making me struggle and gag violently, he allows me a few breaths and pushes his cock back in, repeating the same thing a couple more times, I look up at him, my eyes pleading him to let go of me, but he seems not to care, reducing me to a sobbing, pathetic mess he let's finally go and I try to catch my breath.
Not giving me long to recover he's back to fuck me again, legs wide spread, my muscles ache, his hands first over my mouth and nose then move on to strangulation, oh god I'm scared of this, it's hot, frighteningly hot! Feeling his strong hands holding tight around my neck, his cock entering my cunt with hard deep thrusts, he's fucking me whilst slowly cutting off the air flow, my head feels hot, I feel my heartbeat in my ears, I start to struggle, the grip of his hands is tight and painful, I struggle harder, trying to get away, terrified of passing out, of this unknown feeling of losing all control, he finally let go of my throat. I take a few deep breaths but his hands are already back around it and squeeze.
I lose count of how often he repeats this, but as I thought it couldn't get any scarier he pushes the pillow into my face, this is terrifying. there is no eye contact possible, something which kinda makes me feel still safe sometimes. First I can still breathe, restricted, it's not easy but still works, but he then pulls left and right of the pillow down to the mattress level, the fabric feels really hard all stretched and pulled down, my face totally enclosed by it, I am getting really off in this now, I can tell as I'm getting really really wet. I keep struggling though, trying to lift the pillow up on a site to get some air and it works, sort of, till I get caught out. He then tells me to put my hands on his ass and pull him in and have him fuck me real deep. I feel used, he's still suffocating me, I start to think all sort of things, will he make me pass out? does he care? is he getting off on this? I'm scared, I need to breathe, I need some air, now! I'm begging now, desperate and he finally let go of the pillow and let me take a few deep breaths. Now lying next to me he pushes my head towards his cock and demands me to make him come. My efforts are pathetic, I'm shaking, I can't breathe properly because of being a sobbing mess earlier, I actually want to cry. My at this stage best efforts are lousy and not at all satisfying, I can tell, getting told off for taking a break to catch my breath I wish I would have more energy to do a better job. He then confirms what I already knew, this is not good enough, too slow, I feel rubbish.
He tells me to go on my knees, hold on to the bed frame with both hands and to not let go of it, to open my legs wide and push my ass out. I'm all shaky, actually I feel broken. I'm simply obeying now, I have no energy any more not to. His cock enters my cunt again, and he fucks me, his thumb entering my ass I think I will just have to take this now, what ever will happen, he withdraws his cock and spits on my ass hole, degrading but oh so hot, oh so scary, the thought of his big cock up my tight ass, half an hour ago I may still had the energy to argue or pull away, now though I just hoped he's not going to tear me apart. I'm shaking, my muscles, my throat, everything is aching. I feel his hands remove mine from the frame, first one then the other and moving my legs together making me lie down flat on my tummy, his body resting now on mine, I'm breathing heavily, trying to recover, to calm down, shaking uncontrollably. A few minutes in and I start to relax. That's what happens when you play with my cock, he says. Silly girl, I reply. You're already not sorry any more you did though, he is right, I'm not, it was fucking hot! Maybe I even want to pass out next time I get used and played with.
I am addicted to fear?
Mxx
still owing him a blow job I couldn't resist but started to stroke his cock, hoping he'll just grab my head and push it under the duvet and guess what, he did! God, it's hot under the duvet, totally added to the feeling used feeling. I got to suck his gorgeous cock for a little while but was then thrown over and held down to be fucked hard from behind, his hands pushing me down into the pillow with all his weight, holding me there in place, fucking me. I like the violent approach and the you're just a fucktoy treatment, thinking of being used and abused really turns me on. Rather harsh instructions follow, ass out, face down! I open my legs even wider and move towards his hard thrusts, wanting to feel him even deeper. His deep thrusts pushing me into the pillows, I love being fucked like that.
He then let go of me and turns me around on my back, everything happens really fast, as he sits on my chest and pushes his hard cock deep down my throat I think he'll probably face fuck me, which is really hot, but he just pushes his cock deep in and holds it there, cutting of air, making me struggle and gag violently, he allows me a few breaths and pushes his cock back in, repeating the same thing a couple more times, I look up at him, my eyes pleading him to let go of me, but he seems not to care, reducing me to a sobbing, pathetic mess he let's finally go and I try to catch my breath.
Not giving me long to recover he's back to fuck me again, legs wide spread, my muscles ache, his hands first over my mouth and nose then move on to strangulation, oh god I'm scared of this, it's hot, frighteningly hot! Feeling his strong hands holding tight around my neck, his cock entering my cunt with hard deep thrusts, he's fucking me whilst slowly cutting off the air flow, my head feels hot, I feel my heartbeat in my ears, I start to struggle, the grip of his hands is tight and painful, I struggle harder, trying to get away, terrified of passing out, of this unknown feeling of losing all control, he finally let go of my throat. I take a few deep breaths but his hands are already back around it and squeeze.
I lose count of how often he repeats this, but as I thought it couldn't get any scarier he pushes the pillow into my face, this is terrifying. there is no eye contact possible, something which kinda makes me feel still safe sometimes. First I can still breathe, restricted, it's not easy but still works, but he then pulls left and right of the pillow down to the mattress level, the fabric feels really hard all stretched and pulled down, my face totally enclosed by it, I am getting really off in this now, I can tell as I'm getting really really wet. I keep struggling though, trying to lift the pillow up on a site to get some air and it works, sort of, till I get caught out. He then tells me to put my hands on his ass and pull him in and have him fuck me real deep. I feel used, he's still suffocating me, I start to think all sort of things, will he make me pass out? does he care? is he getting off on this? I'm scared, I need to breathe, I need some air, now! I'm begging now, desperate and he finally let go of the pillow and let me take a few deep breaths. Now lying next to me he pushes my head towards his cock and demands me to make him come. My efforts are pathetic, I'm shaking, I can't breathe properly because of being a sobbing mess earlier, I actually want to cry. My at this stage best efforts are lousy and not at all satisfying, I can tell, getting told off for taking a break to catch my breath I wish I would have more energy to do a better job. He then confirms what I already knew, this is not good enough, too slow, I feel rubbish.
He tells me to go on my knees, hold on to the bed frame with both hands and to not let go of it, to open my legs wide and push my ass out. I'm all shaky, actually I feel broken. I'm simply obeying now, I have no energy any more not to. His cock enters my cunt again, and he fucks me, his thumb entering my ass I think I will just have to take this now, what ever will happen, he withdraws his cock and spits on my ass hole, degrading but oh so hot, oh so scary, the thought of his big cock up my tight ass, half an hour ago I may still had the energy to argue or pull away, now though I just hoped he's not going to tear me apart. I'm shaking, my muscles, my throat, everything is aching. I feel his hands remove mine from the frame, first one then the other and moving my legs together making me lie down flat on my tummy, his body resting now on mine, I'm breathing heavily, trying to recover, to calm down, shaking uncontrollably. A few minutes in and I start to relax. That's what happens when you play with my cock, he says. Silly girl, I reply. You're already not sorry any more you did though, he is right, I'm not, it was fucking hot! Maybe I even want to pass out next time I get used and played with.
I am addicted to fear?
Mxx
Tuesday 8 February 2011
needles.....
Oh wow! This was awesome!
This all happened last Wednesday, after weeks and weeks of me craving needle play I finally had it arranged.
We planned for the afternoon and then heading to the munch afterwards; I usually don't space out for long, so I didn't see any problem in doing it this way. I suppose people had a great time guessing what drugs I was on, haha.
I arrived just after 4pm and first had a nice cup of tea. The decision fell on doing my back to have the chance to do more needles, as I was longing for it so badly. For a little latex fix he put a rubber sheet on top of the bench and after I lie down one on top of my naked skin, mmmm instant relaxation, the smell and feel, it's just amazing.
He then blindfolded me and I could hear him preparing the needles, putting on rubber gloves, my anticipation was growing and growing, I just wanted to feel the needle go through my skin, this sharp sensation, followed by huge relief, not long any more. He then peeled back the rubber sheet a little bit, exposing my shoulders and cleaned the skin with alcoholic wipes. I personally loooooove the smell of them, but as much as I tried I couldn't smell anything. I heard some more preparations going on, I couldn't place what he was doing until I felt the first tip penetrating my skin, running under my flesh and finding it's exit about a cm or two later, followed by three more needles, it felt like they go all through the same spot and the sensation got more and more intense with every single one.
I had some seconds to recover, my breathing had picked up and I tried to calm myself down again, tried to relax into the pain and sensations and find my space.
Then he started on my left shoulder and this took me by surprise, so much more painful than the right! Ouw, what the hell, the same amount of needles were used as on my right shoulder, but in a faster pace than the previous time and oh my god, so much more painful, my heartbeat picked up, breathing got heavier and I struggled staying still, but the sensation was absolutely fantastic, I tried to understand why this hurt so much more and then it came to me, those were the big needles, I wanted to try for ages! Once all four needles were in he calmed me down a little bit, I now got really into my 'enjoy the pain, relax into it' feeling, it's amazing, I like this state, it's before everything gets a little bit too much, before I start getting the overload on adrenaline, I know it will happen, I can't tell if it will take another two or four or even more but I know it will happen very soon now.....my limits of how much I can take are nearly reached.
I could hear some more preparations, I still didn't quite understand what he was doing, why he was taking his time to do whatever he was doing. He peeled back the rubbersheet a little more, exposing now the whole of my back and cleaned it with the skin disinfecting gel rather than using the alco wipes this time.
Then the first needle went through my skin, it felt like it would not really penetrate my skin at all, went straight through, like butter, it felt nice, not as painful, one right, one left, I kept nice and still, that was bearable, I thought I can take another 30 of those, but he didn't carry on with those, the next two were again the bigger ones, nearly made me jump, so much pain, so sharp, so quick, he now didn't give me any breaks in between, one left one right, one row in smalls one in bigger needles, 12 in total, 6 small 6 big, finishing with the big ones, I was sobbing and laughing, not sure if I want to cry or scream or laugh or everything together, thinking if he'd done two more I would probably have come, so intense was the whole experience. I think I was actually really wiggling, but he managed to finish the pattern. Now I was proper high on adrenaline, shaking and laughing it took a few moments to calm me down, but he wasn't quite finished yet. giving me just a little break he peeled down the rubber sheet even further, cleaned the area and carried on, two through each bum cheek, ouw fuck, they really hurt! I was getting closer and closer to my limit now, I just wanted it to stop, all so intense, my mind was spinning, but there were two more to go, just underneath the bum through the skin on my upper thighs. I was so glad he stopped after that. I had enough, in a good way, I don't think I could have taken much more of it. but I was happy, floaty and happy.
So now they have to come out again, hehe, that's easily forgotten about when you get to the point where you feel relief that it's over, don't get me wrong, it's not in a bad way, he pushed me to the right point, reading me very well, I would never feel like I have to call it to a stop, it was perfect.
Right but they have to come out, so he started taking them out, starting where he put the first ones, on my right shoulder, taking all four out, then pressing some paper towel on top, to calm down the bleeding, I tempt to bleed quite a lot when pierced, but I love the feeling of the warm blood running over my skin, it's just so hot!
They all came out now, one after the other, blood running and me getting a little light headed again as the bigger ones hurt when they get taken out.
Ah so good, I felt so much better now. Off into the hot shower and then wrapped up in a towel with a cup of tea and a gin and tonic, classy!
I felt like I recovered pretty well from it all, slightly disappointed actually that it all went so quickly and we made our way to the munch, taking a bus most of the way, I still felt quite alright, as we got to the venue though it suddenly hit me, I was high, proper high on endorphins, so amazing! I loved it so much! I am guessing people were trying to figure out what kind of drugs I was on, haha, I never been that high after play! Thank you so much ;) !
Mx
This all happened last Wednesday, after weeks and weeks of me craving needle play I finally had it arranged.
We planned for the afternoon and then heading to the munch afterwards; I usually don't space out for long, so I didn't see any problem in doing it this way. I suppose people had a great time guessing what drugs I was on, haha.
I arrived just after 4pm and first had a nice cup of tea. The decision fell on doing my back to have the chance to do more needles, as I was longing for it so badly. For a little latex fix he put a rubber sheet on top of the bench and after I lie down one on top of my naked skin, mmmm instant relaxation, the smell and feel, it's just amazing.
He then blindfolded me and I could hear him preparing the needles, putting on rubber gloves, my anticipation was growing and growing, I just wanted to feel the needle go through my skin, this sharp sensation, followed by huge relief, not long any more. He then peeled back the rubber sheet a little bit, exposing my shoulders and cleaned the skin with alcoholic wipes. I personally loooooove the smell of them, but as much as I tried I couldn't smell anything. I heard some more preparations going on, I couldn't place what he was doing until I felt the first tip penetrating my skin, running under my flesh and finding it's exit about a cm or two later, followed by three more needles, it felt like they go all through the same spot and the sensation got more and more intense with every single one.
I had some seconds to recover, my breathing had picked up and I tried to calm myself down again, tried to relax into the pain and sensations and find my space.
Then he started on my left shoulder and this took me by surprise, so much more painful than the right! Ouw, what the hell, the same amount of needles were used as on my right shoulder, but in a faster pace than the previous time and oh my god, so much more painful, my heartbeat picked up, breathing got heavier and I struggled staying still, but the sensation was absolutely fantastic, I tried to understand why this hurt so much more and then it came to me, those were the big needles, I wanted to try for ages! Once all four needles were in he calmed me down a little bit, I now got really into my 'enjoy the pain, relax into it' feeling, it's amazing, I like this state, it's before everything gets a little bit too much, before I start getting the overload on adrenaline, I know it will happen, I can't tell if it will take another two or four or even more but I know it will happen very soon now.....my limits of how much I can take are nearly reached.
I could hear some more preparations, I still didn't quite understand what he was doing, why he was taking his time to do whatever he was doing. He peeled back the rubbersheet a little more, exposing now the whole of my back and cleaned it with the skin disinfecting gel rather than using the alco wipes this time.
Then the first needle went through my skin, it felt like it would not really penetrate my skin at all, went straight through, like butter, it felt nice, not as painful, one right, one left, I kept nice and still, that was bearable, I thought I can take another 30 of those, but he didn't carry on with those, the next two were again the bigger ones, nearly made me jump, so much pain, so sharp, so quick, he now didn't give me any breaks in between, one left one right, one row in smalls one in bigger needles, 12 in total, 6 small 6 big, finishing with the big ones, I was sobbing and laughing, not sure if I want to cry or scream or laugh or everything together, thinking if he'd done two more I would probably have come, so intense was the whole experience. I think I was actually really wiggling, but he managed to finish the pattern. Now I was proper high on adrenaline, shaking and laughing it took a few moments to calm me down, but he wasn't quite finished yet. giving me just a little break he peeled down the rubber sheet even further, cleaned the area and carried on, two through each bum cheek, ouw fuck, they really hurt! I was getting closer and closer to my limit now, I just wanted it to stop, all so intense, my mind was spinning, but there were two more to go, just underneath the bum through the skin on my upper thighs. I was so glad he stopped after that. I had enough, in a good way, I don't think I could have taken much more of it. but I was happy, floaty and happy.
So now they have to come out again, hehe, that's easily forgotten about when you get to the point where you feel relief that it's over, don't get me wrong, it's not in a bad way, he pushed me to the right point, reading me very well, I would never feel like I have to call it to a stop, it was perfect.
Right but they have to come out, so he started taking them out, starting where he put the first ones, on my right shoulder, taking all four out, then pressing some paper towel on top, to calm down the bleeding, I tempt to bleed quite a lot when pierced, but I love the feeling of the warm blood running over my skin, it's just so hot!
They all came out now, one after the other, blood running and me getting a little light headed again as the bigger ones hurt when they get taken out.
Ah so good, I felt so much better now. Off into the hot shower and then wrapped up in a towel with a cup of tea and a gin and tonic, classy!
I felt like I recovered pretty well from it all, slightly disappointed actually that it all went so quickly and we made our way to the munch, taking a bus most of the way, I still felt quite alright, as we got to the venue though it suddenly hit me, I was high, proper high on endorphins, so amazing! I loved it so much! I am guessing people were trying to figure out what kind of drugs I was on, haha, I never been that high after play! Thank you so much ;) !
Mx
Monday 7 February 2011
2011 = playdates and playmates and fun fun fun
My goal for 2011 was to just enjoy myself more and have some fun.
I think I am doing very well so far. I am still trying to finally meet up with the switchy naughty twin, I will call him Traveller, he's just never around, so frustrating as I'm sure we'll have some good naughty fun should we ever manage to get together,lol. More or less randomly I met 'The little Bitch' at the crunch then at my friends birthday the next day and so far we had some good fun together, looking forward to tomorrow and being really mean to him ;). I won't go into detail about what I have planned, as I don't want to give anything away, just saying that it's probably better if he's not using the gyms public changing/shower facilities for a few days, hehe.
I'm glad I am getting some more play. I had some really good public play at Pedestal on the 29th Jan and then the next day at my house party, shame the awesomely cute couple I played with has now left London and will only be visiting occasionally.
Watch this space, I think 2011 will bring us some interesting stories ;)
Mx
I think I am doing very well so far. I am still trying to finally meet up with the switchy naughty twin, I will call him Traveller, he's just never around, so frustrating as I'm sure we'll have some good naughty fun should we ever manage to get together,lol. More or less randomly I met 'The little Bitch' at the crunch then at my friends birthday the next day and so far we had some good fun together, looking forward to tomorrow and being really mean to him ;). I won't go into detail about what I have planned, as I don't want to give anything away, just saying that it's probably better if he's not using the gyms public changing/shower facilities for a few days, hehe.
I'm glad I am getting some more play. I had some really good public play at Pedestal on the 29th Jan and then the next day at my house party, shame the awesomely cute couple I played with has now left London and will only be visiting occasionally.
Watch this space, I think 2011 will bring us some interesting stories ;)
Mx
Heavy rubber
So yes, the focus is still on rubber!
I really enjoy this, I enjoy other things but this is something very intense and special. I am a proper rubber perv I think, hehe.
Right, we had a playdate arranged, heavy rubber themed, that's all I knew, I wasn't aware of what is going to happen and when, just that I will of course bring latex and cover up completely.
I arrived and whilst having a relaxing pint of bitter started to get dressed, leggings, socks, long sleeve top, long gloves, corset, skirt, but I forgot the shoes, which wasn't too much of a drama. Later I found out that he wasn't very happy with my choice of putting on a skirt, lol, but he quickly got rid of it again as it was in the way.
Everything was set up, bondage bench, st. andrews cross, medical chair, fucking machine, sybian, but for some funny reason I thought, ah well, some will be just out to intimidate me a bit, he's surely not using ALL of it in one play session!? I can be really naive sometimes!
After I was completely dressed and felt ok and relaxed the hood came on and I was now completely covered , he turned me around towards the mirror, I looked at the pretty rubber doll and thought, gosh this is just so hot! I love the way the latex transforms me. I feel like a total different person. He started with some strokes and relaxing hugs and then put a gas mask on which made me relax even more, I now have to admit before we are getting confused that this happened a while back, I think end of November and I will most likely get it mixed up a bit, but nevertheless I like to write it down, as I haven't at the time.
So here were we, still standing, doing some very light breath play, relaxing into the situation, accepting the fact I'm out of control now and just let things happen and enjoy them. The skirt came then of as it was in the way and he placed me on the medical chair, rubber straps were applied to hold me in place, around the legs and the waist, immobile there wasn't much resistance from my side as the zip on my leggings was opened slowly, exposing my clit, piercing and cunt, I could feel how aroused I was, upper body strapped tight to the chair, I was not able to look what he's doing, or having in his hands, the gas mask limiting my sight extremely. I focused on my breathing and his touch getting more and more excited. I never really thought very highly about e-stimulation, as he inserted the little bullet into my cunt I wasn't entirely sure what it is until after a few moments I could feel my muscles starting to respond to the stimulation, first very light, nearly unnoticed, then stronger and stronger, to the point where I thought it almost feels unpleasant but soon the rhythm in which the little shocks got sent changed and changed again, sending me on a very interesting journey, I thought at that point how it might feel to have the same up my bum, secretly hoping it might get placed there later, the other half of me not wanting this to happen, I'm a little bit mixed up sometimes.
I can't remember in detail any more what happened on the chair, but he moved me after a while towards the bondage bench, stuck me into the inflatable heavy rubber sleeping back, e-stim bullet still in my cunt, nicely zipped up so it stayed in place, magic wand between my legs and zipped the sleeping bag up and inflated the whole thing, this just feels amazing, being tightly enclosed in all the latexy goodness I felt myself drifting off further and further.....I think I got a bit uneasy as the magic wand heated up, it feels much hotter than it actually is, oh well, i think i was in that position for quite a while, floaty and totally obedient as I now felt he got me out of the sleeping bag, placed me on my knees on top of the bondage bench and fucked me for a little while with his rubber cock pants, this is just awesome by the way, trousers with moulded rubber cocks, yummy! after some hard thrusts he turned me around and made me go down on my knees, having me worship and suck his rubbered up cock for a while before he then pulled me back up on my feet and put a new, heavier hood on me, this one had an attachable blindfold and only a small hole over the mouth to breath through. moving me towards the sybian and placing me on top of it, making sure the insertable goes in the right place, he then strapped up my legs and arms, making sure i can't support my weight with anything other than sitting still on top of the sybian. this is a very evil machine! he left me on there for a while, setting quite high, no idea if it was the highest but it's just too much stimulation to be good, hehe. I started to focus on my breathing, trying to ignore the almost painful stimulation from the sybian as he decided to exchange the hood to one of the re-breather latex hoods with the see-through bit on the front. this is seriously fucked up breath play, I loved it. I was scared, proper scared as it's nearly impossible to breath and get the little tiny hole which is in the wide bit to hit your mouth when it sucks close to your face....after a couple of minutes and heavy uncontrolled breathing followed and accompanied by silly attempts to get out of the situation and seriously feeling like I am going to faint or even die, I was seriously terrified! he removed the hood and allowed me the so much desired deep breaths of fresh air, I instantly started giggling uncontrollably, totally high on adrenaline now. Wow, that was sooooo hot! I didn't come, the sybian just over-stimulates so much, I was unable to.....releasing the restraints and helping me off the sybian I kind of felt like this was now it, but I was terribly wrong. we only moved on to the St. Andrews cross, which was lying on top of the cage in a 45 degrees angle, tight to it secure so it couldn't slide down and I was tied to it securely, legs wide spread giving open access to my already wet cunt, a little pillow supporting my head i was now once again at his mercy.
I'm not entirely sure any more but I think the inflatable hood was then put on, this one has a breathing tube and that got attached to a re-breather bag I think, more breath play, heaven for the already high and floaty me! The fucking machine then got put in place, god this is really good, it just does not stop, steady it goes, penetrating me cunt with nice steady thrusts, the re-breathing getting me slowly light-headed and I could feel how I was slowly moving on towards a nice climax, reaching orgasm just at the point where I felt like I'm going to faint, no more oxygen left and fighting in my restraints, only wanting to breathe! Absolutely amazing! those are definitely the best orgasms on earth ( so far ;) I just loved it.
After recovering a little bit I had a nice hot shower and wrapped up in a towel and blanket some toast and tea. Perfect rubber play date, indeed!
Looking forward to more with big anticipation.
Mxx
I really enjoy this, I enjoy other things but this is something very intense and special. I am a proper rubber perv I think, hehe.
Right, we had a playdate arranged, heavy rubber themed, that's all I knew, I wasn't aware of what is going to happen and when, just that I will of course bring latex and cover up completely.
I arrived and whilst having a relaxing pint of bitter started to get dressed, leggings, socks, long sleeve top, long gloves, corset, skirt, but I forgot the shoes, which wasn't too much of a drama. Later I found out that he wasn't very happy with my choice of putting on a skirt, lol, but he quickly got rid of it again as it was in the way.
Everything was set up, bondage bench, st. andrews cross, medical chair, fucking machine, sybian, but for some funny reason I thought, ah well, some will be just out to intimidate me a bit, he's surely not using ALL of it in one play session!? I can be really naive sometimes!
After I was completely dressed and felt ok and relaxed the hood came on and I was now completely covered , he turned me around towards the mirror, I looked at the pretty rubber doll and thought, gosh this is just so hot! I love the way the latex transforms me. I feel like a total different person. He started with some strokes and relaxing hugs and then put a gas mask on which made me relax even more, I now have to admit before we are getting confused that this happened a while back, I think end of November and I will most likely get it mixed up a bit, but nevertheless I like to write it down, as I haven't at the time.
So here were we, still standing, doing some very light breath play, relaxing into the situation, accepting the fact I'm out of control now and just let things happen and enjoy them. The skirt came then of as it was in the way and he placed me on the medical chair, rubber straps were applied to hold me in place, around the legs and the waist, immobile there wasn't much resistance from my side as the zip on my leggings was opened slowly, exposing my clit, piercing and cunt, I could feel how aroused I was, upper body strapped tight to the chair, I was not able to look what he's doing, or having in his hands, the gas mask limiting my sight extremely. I focused on my breathing and his touch getting more and more excited. I never really thought very highly about e-stimulation, as he inserted the little bullet into my cunt I wasn't entirely sure what it is until after a few moments I could feel my muscles starting to respond to the stimulation, first very light, nearly unnoticed, then stronger and stronger, to the point where I thought it almost feels unpleasant but soon the rhythm in which the little shocks got sent changed and changed again, sending me on a very interesting journey, I thought at that point how it might feel to have the same up my bum, secretly hoping it might get placed there later, the other half of me not wanting this to happen, I'm a little bit mixed up sometimes.
I can't remember in detail any more what happened on the chair, but he moved me after a while towards the bondage bench, stuck me into the inflatable heavy rubber sleeping back, e-stim bullet still in my cunt, nicely zipped up so it stayed in place, magic wand between my legs and zipped the sleeping bag up and inflated the whole thing, this just feels amazing, being tightly enclosed in all the latexy goodness I felt myself drifting off further and further.....I think I got a bit uneasy as the magic wand heated up, it feels much hotter than it actually is, oh well, i think i was in that position for quite a while, floaty and totally obedient as I now felt he got me out of the sleeping bag, placed me on my knees on top of the bondage bench and fucked me for a little while with his rubber cock pants, this is just awesome by the way, trousers with moulded rubber cocks, yummy! after some hard thrusts he turned me around and made me go down on my knees, having me worship and suck his rubbered up cock for a while before he then pulled me back up on my feet and put a new, heavier hood on me, this one had an attachable blindfold and only a small hole over the mouth to breath through. moving me towards the sybian and placing me on top of it, making sure the insertable goes in the right place, he then strapped up my legs and arms, making sure i can't support my weight with anything other than sitting still on top of the sybian. this is a very evil machine! he left me on there for a while, setting quite high, no idea if it was the highest but it's just too much stimulation to be good, hehe. I started to focus on my breathing, trying to ignore the almost painful stimulation from the sybian as he decided to exchange the hood to one of the re-breather latex hoods with the see-through bit on the front. this is seriously fucked up breath play, I loved it. I was scared, proper scared as it's nearly impossible to breath and get the little tiny hole which is in the wide bit to hit your mouth when it sucks close to your face....after a couple of minutes and heavy uncontrolled breathing followed and accompanied by silly attempts to get out of the situation and seriously feeling like I am going to faint or even die, I was seriously terrified! he removed the hood and allowed me the so much desired deep breaths of fresh air, I instantly started giggling uncontrollably, totally high on adrenaline now. Wow, that was sooooo hot! I didn't come, the sybian just over-stimulates so much, I was unable to.....releasing the restraints and helping me off the sybian I kind of felt like this was now it, but I was terribly wrong. we only moved on to the St. Andrews cross, which was lying on top of the cage in a 45 degrees angle, tight to it secure so it couldn't slide down and I was tied to it securely, legs wide spread giving open access to my already wet cunt, a little pillow supporting my head i was now once again at his mercy.
I'm not entirely sure any more but I think the inflatable hood was then put on, this one has a breathing tube and that got attached to a re-breather bag I think, more breath play, heaven for the already high and floaty me! The fucking machine then got put in place, god this is really good, it just does not stop, steady it goes, penetrating me cunt with nice steady thrusts, the re-breathing getting me slowly light-headed and I could feel how I was slowly moving on towards a nice climax, reaching orgasm just at the point where I felt like I'm going to faint, no more oxygen left and fighting in my restraints, only wanting to breathe! Absolutely amazing! those are definitely the best orgasms on earth ( so far ;) I just loved it.
After recovering a little bit I had a nice hot shower and wrapped up in a towel and blanket some toast and tea. Perfect rubber play date, indeed!
Looking forward to more with big anticipation.
Mxx
skin is totally overrated...
So Friday evenings are always a bit meh, I wanted to go for after work drinks as I wasn't in the best mood and gladly first one then another of my friends met up with me for a couple. We had the usual chit chat and then thought that we actually are in the mood for going out and getting all rubbered up, hehe. Plans then first changed again as my girl friend pulled out, not happy about going just to Camden, but after sitting around my friends place he soon convinced me that we should go to Surrender, so he put me in a round trip taxi to pick up my latex and things at home, as I came straight from work I haven't had anything with me, it's not that I carry emergency latex with me at all times,lol, and I soon got back and we got ready to go out. I am amazed how quickly I was dressed, with very little effort and not getting overly heated up or anything, actually not at all, I really improved on this one, love it! I was wearing my black long sleeved top, corset and leggings, black gloves and my ankle boots and I stuck the pigtails hood in my bag, to put on once we got to the venue. Really excited now about being all shiny and looking so fabulous we took a taxi to the venue. We arrived and were instantly bumping in some familiar faces, after saying hi to a couple people one of our mates and part of the crew that night gave us a little show-round and guided us to the dungeon area, which was well hidden on the upper floor, accessible via a rather steep and narrow staircase, well lid but not bright, with plenty of space to move around and all the necessary kit available I instantly liked it. Music was not to loud and catered well for the ambience in my opinion, I felt comfortable and was happy it wasn't packed or too empty but just about right.
I soon decided to put on the hood as well and as there was no mirror I asked a lovely friend of mine to give me a hand, she happily agreed to.
Now fully dressed I instantly felt different. I loved it, I think I must have been smiling like an idiot all night, I was so happy, in my little happy place, a pretty, shiny rubber doll.
My friend went off to play with another girl and I spend some time socialising and simply enjoying the atmosphere and how I felt all covered up. After a little while I joined my friend again and as if I wasn't a really happy dolly already, he then tied my up with nice soft red rope on top of the latex. I have to say, this was the first time I had bondage on top of latex and I really enjoyed it, immobility, helplessness, it all works for me. I got tied to the suspension frame, standing on my tip toes, neck wrapped with rope and linked to the whole, this was such an awesome feeling, felt like being hung from the neck, I knew it's all actually tied to the chest harness, I was able to switch off my mind and just enjoy the 'danger', hehe. As he took me down after a while I felt a little spaced and unable to move for a moment, feeling like an object, not a person was incredibly hot. I remember a friend was official photographer that night and he took some photos of this, I am curious how they going to look like and if they will reflect how I felt.... .
We left fairly early I think, but to be honest I have no real idea what time it was as we got back in. Trading the corset against a hood for the night, no eyes, just mouth opening, we went to bed, me still fully covered up, tugged in under the rubber bed sheets, I was in latex heaven.
With my sense of vision removed I felt even more objectified, my personal wants, likes and needs were secondary, he suggested that the hoods only opening would be of better use giving a blow job and then left me to decide, or better the doll as I was no longer myself and I loved it. I first hesitated, but the doll inside me was longing for being used in that way so I gave her what she needed. He soon moved me around, turned me on my back and his hands went looking for the crotch zip of my leggings, the only access point of doll without removing any layers of latex....this was all incredibly hot, I felt how my arms and legs turned less and less responsive, it's amazing how much the mind influences the body, doll took over, I was only watching now. I was pleased he just did what he wanted, I was there to be used, not to decide what will happen next. Without much preparation I felt his cock entering my cunt, he was fucking her now, using her for his pleasure and I have to admit it was incredibly hot, not being able to see, not feeling able to move or to speak. This was my first ever time having rubbered up sex, being totally covered with latex, I loved it so much! Like I said, skin is totally overrated. He turned me around after a while, the doll mind still responding and in this way my body just doing what it's told, move arms to support, spread legs to give access to my cunt and let him fuck me really hard. I personally love rough sex and it seems that a hood and lots of latex just enhance the experience and change it to ultra hot and must have more often soon. I didn't come, my hand was guided by him more than once to my clit, but I feel unable to focus on me when wanting to be of use for someone else, my pleasure is no longer important, I get pleasure of knowing he's enjoying himself, but I am unable it seems to make me orgasm just yet, I suppose I will though with a little practise, the whole experience was pretty wow and overwhelming. As he was finished with her the crotch just got zipped up and I got tugged away underneath the duvet, still wearing the hood and with the rest of my body covered in latex and then wrapped in a latex covered duvet I fell asleep with a big grin in my face.
Sleeping with the hood on was incredibly comfy. He asked me at some point during the night if I don't fancy to take some of the latex off but I refused, I didn't want to get out of my 2nd skin, I just loved it too much.
after having a good night sleep the doll in me decided that there is only one true way to wake him up and that is with her mouth around his cock, still wearing the hood I wasn't able to see his face or reactions, but having my eyes covered and imagining how it all looked was a real turn on for me. He soon moved me around again, put me on my back arms and legs in place and left me there for a second to get some toys. It's incredible how much you hear when one of your senses is taken and you have to solely rely on the other.
He pulled up the hood a little and put a rubber piece over nose and mouth, I knew this was ensure I was able to breath and nothing was blocking mouth or nose, then another hood went over the whole lot, this one has a breathing tube, it's the inflatable one, it tightens over your skin when inflated and feels incredible. The mouthpiece did a good job as it was much easier to keep the breathing tube in place, even after the hood was inflated. He then placed a wide posture collar around my neck so moving my head was out of question, too. He strapped my arms together in front of my body and applied two more straps around my upper body to make me completely immobile and then attached a re-breather bag to the tube, OMG, at this stage I had to focus for a second to not fall into panic, but I kept my calm and enjoyed. I was breathing fairly relaxed, not using up too much oxygen, but as he opened the zip to my crotch again I instantly got excited and my breathing went up, breathplay and penetrative sex together are most likely the hottest things on earth, combined with all the latex I think it all was a little bit too exciting, As I came close to not being able to breath at all anymore he read my struggles right and removed the re-breather bag, giving me the chance to get some fresh air, still difficult as it all had to go through the little tube, me still being very excited and him using my cunt for his pleasure, calling me rubber fuck doll, the doll in me felt incredibly pleased, the re-breather bag was attached one more time, but I think I need more practise with this, despite having my hand again led to my clit, I was unable to cum, short of breath the bag got removed again. I would have loved to have an orgasm like that, I remember us doing some breathplay like this and I know the orgasms are mind blowing, but I'm not sorry I didn't manage. I felt great, I was pleased about him enjoying this all so much, I enjoyed it a lot too. I was then told to get the rubber off, still not very willing to actually do so, hehe, he unzipped my top and helped me out of it and the gloves before i got out of my leggings and sent into a hot running shower, :D.
We settled for a fry up for breakfast which I probably really needed, being all weak and wobbly and still a bit floaty, hehe. I'm such a pervert,:P.
new year new chapter
It's been a while I bothered writing, for a reason, I didn't feel like publishing my life but I think I'm over this 'I don't want you to know, so I won't write it' as that one I didn't want to know is no longer relevant. He's been a cunt, a proper cunt and if I would ever learn my lesson I would have listened to my friends and 'deleted' him out of my life much earlier, but I seem to be someone I'd call emotional masochist, deep inside me I enjoyed hurting so much by being rejected and ignored. The plan for 2011 was and is still to change this to promiscuous and relaxed,lol, I have been pretty good last year and don't think it got me anywhere.
So I will have to mix this up a bit, I think there will be some older posts, which i didn't publish at the time, so sorry if I get you confused.
Mxx
So I will have to mix this up a bit, I think there will be some older posts, which i didn't publish at the time, so sorry if I get you confused.
Mxx
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