bruises - aftermath

So the last 10 days were quite intense. I had for everyone visible marks for the first time, something I wasn't very well prepared for, my make up skills really do need a bit of a freshening up I suppose. I had a black eye, bruised chin, marks on my jaw line on the left and some lighter but still visible marks on my right side of my face.

For a change I won't be going into detail of the play, all I can say is that he truly fucked me up and I loved it. I was crying my heart out, still sobbing and crying minutes afterwards. I wasn't expecting to be so intensely marked though, that was kinda unexpected and really fucked with my head.

I like to say that I would repeat this at some point, maybe not tomorrow and maybe not exactly the same way, but I enjoyed it.

I had a hard time afterwards, I never dropped so badly from play and I never had to pretend for days and days to come that everything is normal. I wasn't able to cover the eye or chin with make up and I knew I have to be in work on Monday, it was freaking me out, I can't go to work like that I thought, well I can't call in sick either, sigh, I went to buy some other make up, concealer, foundation, powder, end result was ok but nowhere near perfect and I was really worried.

Getting into work on Monday was really demanding some big portion of self-control and backbone and I wasn't sure if I can answer if anyone asks me what had happened, a few hours in and no one had asked, I started to feel a bit better, they obviously noticed, but weren't thinking abuse or anything and left me to it. The following day was easier, still nerve wrecking and straining, but better and so I slowly felt better too.

I managed to get through the week and I'm really proud I did. I had plenty of support from my playmate during that time and from some of my closest friends and I like to say thank you to all of you who were supportive, you really helped me through this.

So aftermath, this was the hottest thing to date, I loved the bruises, the shades the feel of them as much as I loved the way I got them, it just was the right thing to happen, weird isn't it.

Anyway, the marks are nearly gone, some light shades of yellow is all that is left, they say it takes ten days for bruises to go, suppose it's right.

PS: I promise I will never bring warm Stella home ever again ;)

interesting reactions and breaking toys

So I haven't yet felt it would be necessary to write down what I do with the little bitch boy, mostly because they aren't firsts, they are good fun, I enjoy myself, but nothing special happens or happened yet, so I suppose I don't want to bore you all and make you run and never come back to read my blog ever again. But. Yes there is now a but, reason why I'm writing this because I got some interesting feedback followed by some very interesting reactions.

After he had better things to do than seeing me last week I told him that that will have consequences, cancelling on me is something you just don't do. So I said that the next time I see him he gets punished, with the cane. Further he was not allowed to cum. After a few days I extended this to not allowed to touch or play. After a few days, that was Sunday I think, he asked me fairly desperately when he would be able to see me again. My answer was Thursday. He wasn't happy about that and asked if there is any other way to see me earlier than Thursday! I said I will consider Tuesday, but as I was going to be exhausted from work I wasn't sure about having him around for play and punishment. It stayed Thursday at the end.
He arrived at my house, in time, with the requested bottle of red wine for me in his hands. I took the bottle of him, looked at him and said 'you know what to do, cuffs and locks are on the counter' and walked of towards living room where I had everything I needed and more in place. After a minute or two I could hear the rattling of the padlocks on the wrist and ankle cuffs, slowly getting louder whilst he was approaching the living room. As this was punishment there was no warm up planned and I wasn't going to give him one.

I tied him to the living room table, left and right wrist, ankles wide spread with my spreader bar, the bar attached to the table with some rope, no way to escape now. Clover clamps came out and got attached to his nipples, poor boy whining, he doesn't like them that much and was obviously in pain, but I thought he'll soon forget about them when the first stroke with the cane blows down on his ass.
I got myself in place, he knew what was coming, he was prepared, he knew he fucked up and will have to go through this now. Whack, the first one done, but nothing from the boy. I said 'I can't hear you', still nothing, repeating myself, he looks at me, you want me to count, yes count and thank me. Telling him that this one won't count I started again and he was now counting and thanking me for every single one of them, 15 in total, plus the first he fucked up. He was shaking, I felt oddly aroused. Mine. Mine to use as I see fit. He said it, he won't obey, whatever I see fit will be done, he doesn't deserve to voice his likes or dislikes.
I kept it to the caning, pulling of the clamps I felt like this was enough and decided that anything else would be more reward than he deserves. Getting me a glass wine I felt great. He started stroking me, I like the attention, soon my dress came off and he was pleasuring me with his tongue, legs wide spread in front of him it would have been so easy for him to take advantage of me, I could see it in his face, he was wondering if an attempt to fuck me would be tolerated, his facial expression amusing me, he didn't dare, I don't think he ever would. Oh how I love this power I have over him.
Cutting long short I did let him cum that night, under one condition, he was to eat his cum afterwards, clean up the mess. He really wasn't impressed as I was following through with this little condition, I think he secretly hoped he'll get out of it somehow. I enjoyed this a lot, the humiliation, the defeated look in his face, fantastic. He told me that the thought of it was hot as he agreed to it, however just after cumming it's not. Not for him anyway, I had good fun watching him.

Last night at the London munch he told me he was feeling weirdly down after finally cumming and that the depressed feeling didn't go away as he would have had expected after he was allowed to orgasm. I kind of put it down to some sort of sub drop, not sure how to describe it.
We ended up going to a strip club after the munch, together with some friends, before heading back to mine. On the way to the club I took his phone of him, I have to actually get someone to explain me the bloody iphone, I'm rather useless with it so far and I would enjoy being able to play around with it more. Anyway, phone off the boy, he was mostly behaving himself all night. As we got back to mine he was quite cocky and after taking it in for a few moments I stood him in the middle of the room, made him spread his legs and started caning his inner thighs, probably up to eight whacks per leg, turning him around, another two or so across the bum, standing in front of him, looking at him, he suddenly started crying. Now that was probably the one thing I didn't expect to happen. I was sure it was more to do with anything else but the caning, but could imagine this might have triggered it, combined with the seemingly careless attitude of mine, his own music plugged in the speakers, the things he told me at the munch. Result was we talked about it this morning and he thinks he just needed it. Oddly for me, I didn't feel weirded out by the whole situation, I just wasn't expecting it to happen, thinking it would be much harder to make him cry, but I enjoyed the look of him, the look of my broken toy, standing there in the middle of the room, head down, hands in his face, sobbing. Hot! I'm a sick, sick kitty ;)

Fucktoy Tuesday? WTF! ;)

ok ok, I got myself into this allllll by myself again, haha, I'm not complaining :D!

still owing him a blow job I couldn't resist but started to stroke his cock, hoping he'll just grab my head and push it under the duvet and guess what, he did! God, it's hot under the duvet, totally added to the feeling used feeling. I got to suck his gorgeous cock for a little while but was then thrown over and held down to be fucked hard from behind, his hands pushing me down into the pillow with all his weight, holding me there in place, fucking me. I like the violent approach and the you're just a fucktoy treatment, thinking of being used and abused really turns me on. Rather harsh instructions follow, ass out, face down! I open my legs even wider and move towards his hard thrusts, wanting to feel him even deeper. His deep thrusts pushing me into the pillows, I love being fucked like that.

He then let go of me and turns me around on my back, everything happens really fast, as he sits on my chest and pushes his hard cock deep down my throat I think he'll probably face fuck me, which is really hot, but he just pushes his cock deep in and holds it there, cutting of air, making me struggle and gag violently, he allows me a few breaths and pushes his cock back in, repeating the same thing a couple more times, I look up at him, my eyes pleading him to let go of me, but he seems not to care, reducing me to a sobbing, pathetic mess he let's finally go and I try to catch my breath.

Not giving me long to recover he's back to fuck me again, legs wide spread, my muscles ache, his hands first over my mouth and nose then move on to strangulation, oh god I'm scared of this, it's hot, frighteningly hot! Feeling his strong hands holding tight around my neck, his cock entering my cunt with hard deep thrusts, he's fucking me whilst slowly cutting off the air flow, my head feels hot, I feel my heartbeat in my ears, I start to struggle, the grip of his hands is tight and painful, I struggle harder, trying to get away, terrified of passing out, of this unknown feeling of losing all control, he finally let go of my throat. I take a few deep breaths but his hands are already back around it and squeeze.
I lose count of how often he repeats this, but as I thought it couldn't get any scarier he pushes the pillow into my face, this is terrifying. there is no eye contact possible, something which kinda makes me feel still safe sometimes. First I can still breathe, restricted, it's not easy but still works, but he then pulls left and right of the pillow down to the mattress level, the fabric feels really hard all stretched and pulled down, my face totally enclosed by it, I am getting really off in this now, I can tell as I'm getting really really wet. I keep struggling though, trying to lift the pillow up on a site to get some air and it works, sort of, till I get caught out. He then tells me to put my hands on his ass and pull him in and have him fuck me real deep. I feel used, he's still suffocating me, I start to think all sort of things, will he make me pass out? does he care? is he getting off on this? I'm scared, I need to breathe, I need some air, now! I'm begging now, desperate and he finally let go of the pillow and let me take a few deep breaths. Now lying next to me he pushes my head towards his cock and demands me to make him come. My efforts are pathetic, I'm shaking, I can't breathe properly because of being a sobbing mess earlier, I actually want to cry. My at this stage best efforts are lousy and not at all satisfying, I can tell, getting told off for taking a break to catch my breath I wish I would have more energy to do a better job. He then confirms what I already knew, this is not good enough, too slow, I feel rubbish.

He tells me to go on my knees, hold on to the bed frame with both hands and to not let go of it, to open my legs wide and push my ass out. I'm all shaky, actually I feel broken. I'm simply obeying now, I have no energy any more not to. His cock enters my cunt again, and he fucks me, his thumb entering my ass I think I will just have to take this now, what ever will happen, he withdraws his cock and spits on my ass hole, degrading but oh so hot, oh so scary, the thought of his big cock up my tight ass, half an hour ago I may still had the energy to argue or pull away, now though I just hoped he's not going to tear me apart. I'm shaking, my muscles, my throat, everything is aching. I feel his hands remove mine from the frame, first one then the other and moving my legs together making me lie down flat on my tummy, his body resting now on mine, I'm breathing heavily, trying to recover, to calm down, shaking uncontrollably. A few minutes in and I start to relax. That's what happens when you play with my cock, he says. Silly girl, I reply. You're already not sorry any more you did though, he is right, I'm not, it was fucking hot! Maybe I even want to pass out next time I get used and played with.

I am addicted to fear?

Mxx

needles.....

Oh wow! This was awesome!

This all happened last Wednesday, after weeks and weeks of me craving needle play I finally had it arranged.

We planned for the afternoon and then heading to the munch afterwards; I usually don't space out for long, so I didn't see any problem in doing it this way. I suppose people had a great time guessing what drugs I was on, haha.

I arrived just after 4pm and first had a nice cup of tea. The decision fell on doing my back to have the chance to do more needles, as I was longing for it so badly. For a little latex fix he put a rubber sheet on top of the bench and after I lie down one on top of my naked skin, mmmm instant relaxation, the smell and feel, it's just amazing.
He then blindfolded me and I could hear him preparing the needles, putting on rubber gloves, my anticipation was growing and growing, I just wanted to feel the needle go through my skin, this sharp sensation, followed by huge relief, not long any more. He then peeled back the rubber sheet a little bit, exposing my shoulders and cleaned the skin with alcoholic wipes. I personally loooooove the smell of them, but as much as I tried I couldn't smell anything. I heard some more preparations going on, I couldn't place what he was doing until I felt the first tip penetrating my skin, running under my flesh and finding it's exit about a cm or two later, followed by three more needles, it felt like they go all through the same spot and the sensation got  more and more intense with every single one.
I had some seconds to recover, my breathing had picked up and I tried to calm myself down again, tried to relax into the pain and sensations and find my space.
Then he started on my left shoulder and this took me by surprise, so much more painful than the right! Ouw, what the hell, the same amount of needles were used as on my right shoulder, but in a faster pace than the previous time and oh my god, so much more painful, my heartbeat picked up, breathing got heavier and I struggled staying still, but the sensation was absolutely fantastic, I tried to understand why this hurt so much more and then it came to me, those were the big needles, I wanted to try for ages! Once all four needles were in he calmed me down a little bit,  I now got really into my 'enjoy the pain, relax into it' feeling, it's amazing, I like this state, it's before everything gets a little bit too much, before I start getting the overload on adrenaline, I know it will happen, I can't tell if it will take another two or four or even more but I know it will happen very soon now.....my limits of how much I can take are nearly reached.

I could hear some more preparations, I still didn't quite understand what he was doing, why he was taking his time to do whatever he was doing. He peeled back the rubbersheet a little more, exposing now the whole of my back and cleaned it with the skin disinfecting gel rather than using the alco wipes this time.
Then the first needle went through my skin, it felt like it would not really penetrate my skin at all, went straight through, like butter, it felt nice, not as painful, one right, one left, I kept nice and still, that was bearable, I thought I can take another 30 of those, but he didn't carry on with those, the next two were again the bigger ones, nearly made me jump, so much pain, so sharp, so quick, he now didn't give me any breaks in between, one left one right, one row in smalls one in bigger needles, 12 in total, 6 small 6 big, finishing with the big ones, I was sobbing and laughing, not sure if I want to cry or scream or laugh or everything together, thinking if he'd done two more I would probably have come, so intense was the whole experience. I think I was actually really wiggling, but he managed to finish the pattern. Now I was proper high on adrenaline, shaking and laughing it took a few moments to calm me down, but he wasn't quite finished yet. giving me just a little break he peeled down the rubber sheet even further, cleaned the area and carried on, two through each bum cheek, ouw fuck, they really hurt! I was getting closer and closer to my limit now, I just wanted it to stop, all so intense, my mind was spinning, but there were two more to go, just underneath the bum through the skin on my upper thighs. I was so glad he stopped after that. I had enough, in a good way, I don't think I could have taken much more of it. but I was happy, floaty and happy.
So now they have to come out again, hehe, that's easily forgotten about when you get to the point where you feel relief that it's over, don't get me wrong, it's not in a bad way, he pushed me to the right point, reading me very well, I would never feel like I have to call it to a stop, it was perfect.

Right but they have to come out, so he started taking them out, starting where he put the first ones, on my right shoulder, taking all four out, then pressing some paper towel on top, to calm down the bleeding, I tempt to bleed quite a lot when pierced, but I love the feeling of the warm blood running over my skin, it's just so hot!
They all came out now, one after the other, blood running and me getting a little light headed again as the bigger ones hurt when they get taken out.
Ah so good, I felt so much better now. Off into the hot shower and then wrapped up in a towel with a cup of tea and a gin and tonic, classy!

I felt like I recovered pretty well from it all, slightly disappointed actually that it all went so quickly and we made our way to the munch, taking a bus most of the way, I still felt quite alright, as we got to the venue though it suddenly hit me, I was high, proper high on endorphins, so amazing! I loved it so much! I am guessing people were trying to figure out what kind of drugs I was on, haha, I never been that high after play! Thank you so much ;) !

Mx

2011 = playdates and playmates and fun fun fun

My goal for 2011 was to just enjoy myself more and have some fun.

I think I am doing very well so far. I am still trying to finally meet up with the switchy naughty twin, I will call him Traveller, he's just never around, so frustrating as I'm sure we'll have some good naughty fun should we ever manage to get together,lol. More or less randomly I met 'The little Bitch' at the crunch then at my friends birthday the next day and so far we had some good fun together, looking forward to tomorrow and being really mean to him ;). I won't go into detail about what I have planned, as I don't want to give anything away, just saying that it's probably better if he's not using the gyms public changing/shower facilities for a few days, hehe.
I'm glad I am getting some more play. I had some really good public play at Pedestal on the 29th Jan and then the next day at my house party, shame the awesomely cute couple I played with has now left London and will only be visiting occasionally.

Watch this space, I think 2011 will bring us some interesting stories ;)

Mx

Heavy rubber

So yes, the focus is still on rubber!

I really enjoy this, I enjoy other things but this is something very intense and special. I am a proper rubber perv I think, hehe.

Right, we had a playdate arranged, heavy rubber themed, that's all I knew, I wasn't aware of what is going to happen and when, just that I will of course bring latex and cover up completely.

I arrived and whilst having a relaxing pint of bitter started to get dressed, leggings, socks, long sleeve top, long gloves, corset, skirt, but I forgot the shoes, which wasn't too much of a drama. Later I found out that he wasn't very happy with my choice of putting on a skirt, lol, but he quickly got rid of it again as it was in the way.

Everything was set up, bondage bench, st. andrews cross, medical chair, fucking machine, sybian, but for some funny reason I thought, ah well, some will be just out to intimidate me a bit, he's surely not using ALL of it in one play session!? I can be really naive sometimes!

After I was completely dressed and felt ok and relaxed the hood came on and I was now completely covered , he turned me around towards the mirror, I looked at the pretty rubber doll and thought, gosh this is just so hot! I love the way the latex transforms me. I feel like a total different person. He started with some strokes and relaxing hugs and then put a gas mask on which made me relax even more, I now have to admit before we are getting confused that this happened a while back, I think end of November and I will most likely get it mixed up a bit, but nevertheless I like to write it down, as I haven't at the time.

So here were we, still standing, doing some very light breath play, relaxing into the situation, accepting the fact I'm out of control now and just let things happen and enjoy them. The skirt came then of as it was in the way and he placed me on the medical chair, rubber straps were applied to hold me in place, around the legs and the waist, immobile there wasn't much resistance from my side as the zip on my leggings was opened slowly, exposing my clit, piercing and cunt, I could feel how aroused I was, upper body strapped tight to the chair, I was not able to look what he's doing, or having in his hands, the gas mask limiting my sight extremely. I focused on my breathing and his touch getting more and more excited. I never really thought very highly about e-stimulation, as he inserted the little bullet into my cunt I wasn't entirely sure what it is until after a few moments I could feel my muscles starting to respond to the stimulation, first very light, nearly unnoticed, then stronger and stronger, to the point where I thought it almost feels unpleasant but soon the rhythm in which the little shocks got sent changed and changed again, sending me on a very interesting journey, I thought at that point how it might feel to have the same up my bum, secretly hoping it might get placed there later, the other half of me not wanting this to happen, I'm a little bit mixed up sometimes.

I can't remember in detail any more what happened on the chair, but he moved me after a while towards the bondage bench, stuck me into the inflatable heavy rubber sleeping back, e-stim bullet still in my cunt, nicely zipped up so it stayed in place, magic wand between my legs and zipped the sleeping bag up and inflated the whole thing, this just feels amazing, being tightly enclosed in all the latexy goodness I felt myself drifting off further and further.....I think I got a bit uneasy as the magic wand heated up, it feels much hotter than it actually is, oh well, i think i was in that position for quite a while, floaty and totally obedient as I now felt he got me out of the sleeping bag, placed me on my knees on top of the bondage bench and fucked me for a little while with his rubber cock pants, this is just awesome by the way, trousers with moulded rubber cocks, yummy! after some hard thrusts he turned me around and made me go down on my knees, having me worship and suck his rubbered up cock for a while before he then pulled me back up on my feet and put a new, heavier hood on me, this one had an attachable blindfold and only a small hole over the mouth to breath through. moving me towards the sybian and placing me on top of it, making sure the insertable goes in the right place, he then strapped up my legs and arms, making sure i can't support my weight with anything other than sitting still on top of the sybian. this is a very evil machine! he left me on there for a while, setting quite high, no idea if it was the highest but it's just too much stimulation to be good, hehe. I started to focus on my breathing, trying to ignore the almost painful stimulation from the sybian as he decided to exchange the hood to one of the re-breather latex hoods with the see-through bit on the front. this is seriously fucked up breath play, I loved it. I was scared, proper scared as it's nearly impossible to breath and get the little tiny hole which is in the wide bit to hit your mouth when it sucks close to your face....after a couple of minutes and heavy uncontrolled breathing followed and accompanied by silly attempts to get out of the situation and seriously feeling like I am going to faint or even die, I was seriously terrified! he removed the hood and allowed me the so much desired  deep breaths of fresh air, I instantly started giggling uncontrollably, totally high on adrenaline now. Wow, that was sooooo hot! I didn't come, the sybian just over-stimulates so much, I was unable to.....releasing the restraints and helping me off the sybian I kind of felt like this was now it, but I was terribly wrong. we only moved on to the St. Andrews cross, which was lying on top of the cage in a 45 degrees angle, tight to it secure so it couldn't slide down and I was tied to it securely, legs wide spread giving open access to my already wet cunt, a little pillow supporting my head i was now once again at his mercy.

I'm not entirely sure any more but I think the inflatable hood was then put on, this one has a breathing tube and that got attached to a re-breather bag I think, more breath play, heaven for the already high and floaty me! The fucking machine then got put in place, god this is really good, it just does not stop, steady it goes, penetrating me cunt with nice steady thrusts, the re-breathing getting me slowly light-headed and I could feel how I was slowly moving on towards a nice climax, reaching orgasm just at the point where I felt like I'm going to faint, no more oxygen left and fighting in my restraints, only wanting to breathe! Absolutely amazing! those are definitely the best orgasms on earth ( so far ;) I just loved it.

After recovering a little bit I had a nice hot shower and wrapped up in a towel and blanket some toast and tea. Perfect rubber play date, indeed!

Looking forward to more with big anticipation.

Mxx