reblog PMM blogger More than nuclear: But what about the children?

More than nuclear: But what about the children?: Poly Means Many: There are many aspects of polyamory. Each month, the PMM bloggers will write about their views on one of them. Links to all...

thinking of full rubber, sensory deprivation, tight bondage, breath- and medical play....[fiction, for the moment anyway ;) ]

I'm wearing my new black Libidex catsuit, and knee high platform patent black boots. He's doing up my corset, pulling hard on the laces, making me lose balance ever so slightly. I love how this makes me feel so vulnerable and small.

Corset all done up, he passes me my black gloves, a pair of earplugs and a plain black hood. I have a last sip on my G&T and then add the items I was given to my outfit. Fully covered now, deaf to any sounds around me, I'm losing myself under his touch. He stands in front of me, hands running across my body, he grabs my ass and pulls me close. I can feel his cock pressing against his trousers. I gasp, my heart is beating faster, his lips pressing hard against mine, eyes locking for a moment, he kisses me forcefully. I feel like I'm melting under his touch.

He lets go of me just enough to lead me to the bedroom, gets the blindfold out and takes another sense away from me. I'm insanely aroused, slightly scared, my heart is beating so fast, it feels like it tries to escape my body. With his hands on my shoulders he pushes me back and down, sitting on the edge of the bed I'm waiting. I can't hear, can't see. He takes my hand and I can feel the wrist cuff being made up, then the other, he then moves down stroking my latex covered skin on the way, applying pressure as he gets to the top of my thighs, squeezing my skin; then he and attaches the other set of cuffs to my ankles. He maneuvers me gently backwards so I lie in the middle of the bed, wrists getting gently pulled up and attached to the metal frame, ankles are now spread by a black metal bar. His hands run across my whole body, sometimes soft, sometimes with more force, stroking my shiny shell. Fingers run over my nipples, tracing the lines of my piercings, one last passionate kiss followed by the ball gag.

Hands running down between my thighs, fingers looking for the zip of the catsuit, he opens it only a few centimeters, just enough for two fingers, exploring, finding my cunt dripping wet, waiting, aching for his touch.
He plays with my VCH and fingers me gently, I can't help it and try to press myself against his touch. I guess that was too much moving about already as he stops and shortly after the bar gets pulled tight in one direction, whatever he's done, I can't move my legs around anymore. His hands undo the zip and expose my wet cunt. My mind is racing with all sorts of thoughts, I would love to feel his tongue caressing my clit, but I don't know what he has planned, which makes it all so much more exciting.

There's a small break, hands suddenly touch my skin between my legs, a cold, lubed up feel, followed by cold metal slowly entering my cunt, I gasp, this must be the speculum, oh my! I love the cold steel against my hot skin. He puts it in position and opens it up slightly, I can feel he's going sideways, not vertical, which I would only do when planning to go ahead and use the sounds next. My first orgasm overruns me without much warning, sending shakes and shivers down my spine......

to be continued? Inspire me ;)

Rubber, my biggest love and downfall

It's all in the title. I guess this will always be the one thing I have no idea what will happen, how far I will go, will I get to a point where I think 'hold on, this is too much' or will I always feel like there could be more somewhere. Hidden.
Recent encounters, old and new, in real life and online have only done one thing, and I'm not sure if I like it.
Realizing what rubber means to me has to be the biggest step I made so far in my journey of finding the real me. Knowing I relate it to a strong D/s context is frightening and reassuring.
Getting these thoughts out of my head may help to sort out my mind a bit and benefit the clear thinking.
One thing I know I need to do for sure is think less, do more.
In other words, to myself:
Take your own advice more often, Love. Me.

Rubber Wednesday

It's Wednesday 10am and I currently have all the rubber laid out on my bed. I am putting my outfit together for later. P is coming over for our first rubber playdate. We only met very recently and I'm pretty excited about meeting someone who understands the rubber/latex fetish the way I do.
After a little bit of thinking and moving items around on the bed I decide on my outfit and put away everything else I won't need. Now to carry on with my preparations. I still have plenty of time till 1pm, but I like to take my time and make sure I have everything ready. And most importantly, that I'm feeling ready. Rubber is probably the most high maintenance play of all, starting up to two days in advance with exfoliating and shaving. You can't shave on the day, rubber and freshly shaved skin don't like each other much; then some more exfoliating, it's better for your rubber as well as for your skin. On the day I do my usual play-preps.
I'm a huge fan of anal play, so I give myself a nice proper clean with the enema kit. It enhances the sensations, there's no mess and it leaves me more relaxed for play.
Another part of my preparation is deciding on what toys to get out. I settle for a variation of butt plugs, the Hitachi with attachment, inflatable dildo, cuffs and spreader bar, a rubber hood which only has a mouth opening and my S10, which was modified for more controlled breath play. Breath play excites me, a lot.
Then finally, light, scent, music. It all works together.

I start to get dressed about 45mins before P arrives. This part is as exciting as the play. The slow transformation into this rubber play thing, object, doll, fucktoy, you chose; we all feel different about it, depending on the situation and the response we get, but one thing is always the same, it's pure sex. It is beautiful. Rubber enhances your looks, the feel, and your skin transforms into this perfect shiny finish, flawless.
I start with my see-through tights, I put some dressing aid around my ankles and they slide on nicely. Then the white long sleeve high neck top, it's skin tight, thick latex, made to measure and fits like a 2nd skin. I add my white pencil skirt topped by my black underbust corset. Finishing the look with a pair of black and white plateau shoes with 5 1/2 inch heels. Now only my hood and gloves are missing. I will not put them on just yet.

A few minutes before 1pm my phone starts ringing. he is downstairs. I throw him my keys so I don't need to climb two flights of stairs to let him in. Wow, my heart is beating now, I hope he likes what I chose. I asked before the play date what he likes and he said he likes surprises. He opens the door and comes in, his smile and eyes tell me he likes what he sees. Instantly I feel a bit calmer.
He has brought a nice chilled bottle of wine and we sit down for a relaxing chat and a glass of white to take the edge off before he goes to change into his catsuit. I think we can both tell that we're a bit nervous and excited. I am definitely nervous now. After a while he gets up and goes to my bedroom to change.
I stay on the couch with my glass of wine, listening to the sounds of him dressing in his latex. I love the sound that rubber makes when you dress. I can't explain it well, but any Rubberist will know what I mean. I just sit there, close my eyes and listen. A wave of arousal rushes through my body.

He re-enters the living room and I get even more excited. I love latex and he looks really, really good in it. I ask him politely to get me my hood and my gloves. Covering up completely usually gets me into a really intense head space, it's the total transformation. I am now really nervous. Putting my hood on, zipping it up, the black and white rubber pigtails are falling down on my shoulders, it's a cool, soothing sensation. I add my gloves and that's it. Fully enclosed in latex. It's a weird feeling, I have never been with anyone except for my best friend when totally enclosed in latex and now I'm sitting here with P and for a moment I don't really know what to say or do. We have another sip of wine and then get up. Standing in the middle of my living room, he starts running his hands all over my latex clad body. I close me eyes and relax into the sensation, let him kiss me, caress me. His hands brush over my nipples and I gasp, it all feels so much more intense through the layer of latex. I feel a bit light-headed and could easily fall into my submissive mindset, but for some reason I don't.
We move to my bedroom and I am now glad I put some thought into the play as I will be topping, my first time in full rubber, he's very cute about it being my space and that I should be in charge for this first time.
Surprisingly, it works for me, my head isn't all fuzzy and subby and I'm actually excited that I do get to have my way with him for the next hour or so, I don't pay attention to time, it's not really important apart from the moments when I count the seconds whilst depriving him of oxygen, that is the only time it counts, but on to that part later.
I rid myself of my skirt and my shoes, as pretty as they are, they won't be much use now, the see-through leggings have a zip in the crotch, my corset and top are comfortable too, so the rest of my outfit stays on.

I ask him to lie down on the bed, in the middle, flat on his back and check if he's comfortable. Looking at him lying there I take a moment before I get my wrist and ankle cuffs and the spreader bar. I climb on top of him, feeling his cock pressing against his catsuit as I lower myself onto his crotch. I slowly put the wrist cuffs on, first the right then the left and clip them overhead onto my bed frame. I then add the ankle cuffs and attach them to the bar, his legs straight and in a comfortable position. I take a moment to look at him. Next is the hood, it only has a mouth opening, no eyes. I gently zip it up, making sure I won't catch his hair.
I hold in again for a second, admiring the look of my now shiny toy in front of me. I run my hands over his body; first light, then with some more pressure, feeling his muscles under the shiny black latex. My hands stroke over his crotch and I can feel his hard cock responding to my touch.
My hands go exploring for the zip of his catsuit, I undo it just enough to access his arse and expose his cock. I grab one of the thin latex gloves and using some lube I let my index finger slowly explore, caressing his cock and balls with my other hand, I can feel he is relaxing into my touch. Choosing the rubber hood makes things a lot harder for me, the missing eye contact means I have to entirely rely on reading his reactions and body language, but I think sensation-wise the hood is adding a lot to his pleasure and I want him to enjoy what I am doing with him.
I remove the glove to get my hands free to play with his cock. My mouth around his tip, slowly running my tongue down his shaft, then taking him deep. The rubber hood is making it harder for me to open my mouth nice and wide, but I enjoy the restriction, and I enjoy sucking his cock for a little while. I then focus my attention again on his butt. I get a fresh glove and gently work my way up to two fingers before moving on to my medium sized butt plug. I gently play with the plug, penetrate him, till I'm able to push it completely in. I then zip up his catsuit so only his cock is exposed, with one hand I am pushing and caressing the plug through the rubber, gently changing pressure, with the other I am playing with his hard cock. I carry on like this for a moment, hoping he enjoys it as much as I do. I entirely rely on my instincts and what I would enjoy being done to me, if I would be lying there right now.
Finally I move towards my Hitachi. I unzip the suit again so I get access to the butt plug. I remove this one and let him know that the next is attached to a vibrator, as he can't see what I'm doing and I don't want to startle him. I always wanted to have a go on a boy with my magic wand, this will be new. I still hope I will get some feedback on how it felt for him. Ultimately, I want to be able to make him come just from prostate stimulation, but as I don't know him very well, I don't expect anything from today. The Hitachi can be very intense and I don't want to push the levels of stimulation up to getting uncomfortable. I play with him for a little while and then move on to what else I have in mind for him today.
I slowly remove the hood, shielding his eyes. It is all too bright at first after a certain time in darkness, his eyes need a moment to adjust.
I give him a second and then present him with my gas mask. He smiles and nods. The words 'good boy' flash through my head and I smile. There is not a lot of verbal communication, I like it that way. I am now really excited and look forward to fucking him whilst being in control of his breathing.

The gas mask goes on and I tighten the straps around his head, making sure it sits comfortably but secure.
My hands stroke over the mask, gently, like I would be touching his face. I can see his eyes now, this is a welcome change. I like a bit of eye contact during breath play, it makes it all the more intense.

My hand is caressing his body and slowly moving to his cock. He is still hard and I can now feel my excitement too. My clit responds with a light throbbing sensation. I unzip my tights and touch myself. My pussy is wet and warm, I think it is time to fuck him now. I get a condom and pull it over his hard cock before I slowly lower myself onto him. I gasp with pleasure, feeling him slowly slide deep inside me. I love this first moment of penetration, nerve endings respond, my cunt tightening around him. I lean back a bit to feel him even deeper, and then I start to fuck him. My hands run over his upper body and towards the mask. One hand gently rests on his right cheek, the other covers up the only entrance/exit for fresh air. I silently count, holding my own breath, holding eye contact with him, slowly moving towards the rush you get when you can't breathe. I remove my hand and he takes a deep breath. I don't hesitate and cover up the air supply again, all he's got is the one breath of fresh air. His cock is now responding to my little game, I can feel him getting harder. I push him a bit further this time and his reactions are just wonderful. He is pushing his cock towards me, fucking me now. Trying to breathe, struggling in his restraints, his eyes locked with mine. One more second, two, I let him breathe.
I want to feel him up my arse so badly now, I think it's time for a small change. My tights open up just about enough to allow anal penetration. I get some lube and slowly push myself down on him. This feels so good. I carry on using his cock for my pleasure, slowly riding him, play with the gas mask and his air supply and make myself come again and again with his cock deep up my arse. The mask comes off eventually, one of the straps loosened during play, that's fine. It will stay off.
I unclip the wrist cuffs and then turn around to do the same to his ankles, I think it's time for a small change in roles now. A fresh condom and I get him to fuck me doggy style, nice, deep, hard thrusts, his hands grab me by my waist and he pulls me towards him. He fucks me and I'm high on the adrenaline of the play, the smell of rubber and the feel of him deep inside me. I completely loose my feeling for time. He comes hard. Exhausted we collapse on the bed. And then there's the real urge to get out of the rubber. I think we're both really hot and sweaty. It's time for a nice hot shower now.


All in all this was a brilliant first, I hope for a repeat sometime soon, maybe with him on top this time and naked after care cuddles included ;).

PS
(I like to say that this was extremely hard for me to write. When I sub, lots of things go through my head. I perceive the whole play a lot differently, writing about this with me being Top was difficult. I didn't want it to sound clinical but there's a lot more actual thinking and doing going on, as if you're on the receiving end. I wanted to capture this in my blog, as it was a first for me, a couple of firsts actually, and I truly enjoyed the experience. I felt nervous and excited about playing with someone new. Someone who seems to have the same passion for the material as I do. It was amazing and I hope there will be some repeats.)

Out of the loop...

I haven't been posting in a while, mostly because I haven't had anything to tell, or I didn't feel like sharing it here.
Now the last months since mid July where dominated by real life and kinksville with all it's amneties just wasn't anything I needed. I needed grown up real life stuff, finding a place to live, keeping my job, etc etc.

Now I feel really run down, just after moving house I got ill with a cold and still suffer, so whilst I sit at home and rest I got plenty of time to reflect on what I need to make me feel happy again.

For one, I need a kinky partner, someone who takes control and gives me guidance, I want D/s. I was never really sure about this, but I crave structure and love, affection and on top of it all, I crave some decent marks, bruises, welts, I want them, I need them, I haven't had them in too long now and I don't feel I can go without it for much longer. I want it to be important to both though, not just a play session, or someone doing it for me, it doesn't feel right when someone does you a favour hitting you with a cane or paddle a few times, but they aren't really enjoying it. I want someone who wants to hurt me and then wrap me in a blanket and tell me what a good girl I am.

I will leave this unfinished, I feel like this is more me venting than writing a proper post, but it will go up anyway.

Mx