Out of the loop...

I haven't been posting in a while, mostly because I haven't had anything to tell, or I didn't feel like sharing it here.
Now the last months since mid July where dominated by real life and kinksville with all it's amneties just wasn't anything I needed. I needed grown up real life stuff, finding a place to live, keeping my job, etc etc.

Now I feel really run down, just after moving house I got ill with a cold and still suffer, so whilst I sit at home and rest I got plenty of time to reflect on what I need to make me feel happy again.

For one, I need a kinky partner, someone who takes control and gives me guidance, I want D/s. I was never really sure about this, but I crave structure and love, affection and on top of it all, I crave some decent marks, bruises, welts, I want them, I need them, I haven't had them in too long now and I don't feel I can go without it for much longer. I want it to be important to both though, not just a play session, or someone doing it for me, it doesn't feel right when someone does you a favour hitting you with a cane or paddle a few times, but they aren't really enjoying it. I want someone who wants to hurt me and then wrap me in a blanket and tell me what a good girl I am.

I will leave this unfinished, I feel like this is more me venting than writing a proper post, but it will go up anyway.

Mx